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It's too cool for a title

Posted by: Deadside Dreams Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 06:51am

I'm goddamned monumentagious.
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I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground
So you can never leave...

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Xanderviceory
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Commented on: Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 08:08am


	eek Wow man... Very very nice Applaudes

Commented on: Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 10:24am


	The wording in the refrain of Angel Whore itched at me a little. Having it repeat twice only itched me more. Maybe if the first set was "Forever she'll play" and the second set "Forever she'll be" Other then that I liked them, especialy the Romeo and Juliet.

Jupiters Romance
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Deadside Dreams
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Commented on: Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 05:06pm


	Angel Whore was written as a song. I usually don't change the choruses in my songs.

Commented on: Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 06:57pm


	Oh oh!! How smex. Her Smoking Wings -Beautiful imagery I liked that. -The flow is unintuerrupted and that's a big plus -The title angles toward something else though...I was thinking Burning Wings while I read it. But since it's not my poem. I luff it!! Rome and Juliet Version 666 -The line, "So I desolate myself, not alone and afraid," seems off...Desolate is an adjective not a verb. But it's poetry so it can be used as such I guess. -VERY perfect in the flowing from one stanza to the next. Good use of the whole rhyming thing. Angel Whore -Could tell it was a song. -Liked it very much -For some reason I found it insulting...but it didn't take away from the poetry it's self. I liked it alot and wouldn't change a thing. Critiqued mon cher!

The Simi Knows Best
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Jupiters Romance
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Commented on: Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 08:24pm


	No, that's not what I mean dear. Yes I know it's a song. I mean the first line in each chorus would seem less redundant as "play" and have the second in each chorus as "be".

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