Its tearing me apart. I think I love her. And I know she feels strongly about me... But thats irrelevant to my current situation.
When I'm away from her I become overwhelmed with emotion and feelings I can't control. I saw her from 2pm to 3:30ish and it's 11:30 now, I can't ******** take it, I need to see her.
Maybe more so because of my current situation...
After a night of flips in a park with some random people and random building exploration. We ended up snuggling in the graveyard... Which ended up with our hands in each others pants... And a cat we named Spain cuddling between our bodies. We decided at this point to go back to her house. I snuck up to her room and we started cuddling in her bed. She went down on me a little, and then all of a sudden we having sex. On a side note, I love when a girl grabs my p***s and sticks it in for me, it makes me feel like she really wants it. We went at it for about an hour, then we thought we heard her mom so we split apart and decided to call it a night. After this, I'm pretty sure neither of us came, and this has been a problem for me in life. I never have good sex... I mean, it was good with Amaris, but she was unable to orgasm to my and her power. Fortunately this girls bodily functions work correctly as far as I can tell. I'm saying all this because I feel like I need to know if I can ******** a girl and give her an orgasm. I need to go back and finish unfinished business, and now that I'm in this situation I know that I'll be able to do it soon, but I need to know now.
So I'm probably going to try to bang this out tomorrow in the grave yard. I hope Spain comes and keeps us company.
I know I started all this out with love as the topic and now it's about sex... But I didn't want this, it just happened, I really like her as a person, and what I wanted was minimal. A good friend, and someone to be affectionate with. I've ended up with much more than that, I think I could spend every day of my life with this person. Now I don't know what the ******** to do. Sadly I think the first thing I need to do is get these orgasms out of the way, I need to achieve this for the both of us. Maybe I'll be able to think strait after that. Cause right now, I'm getting temperature flashes, waves of emotion riding threw my body, tears fading in and out of my eyes...
********... I just cried and laughed at the same time... I think I need to get out side.
The more I think about this the more I realize. I can't handle drugs. Daisy warned me, and I knew it was true, but I forgot love was a drug... I'm such a little kid, and I'll probably be this way forever. I'm an ageless soul trapped in an ageing body.
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Learning to fly.
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