I hated myself for breaking his heart the first time, and couldn't stand being away from him..... and now I almost just want to die. He probably... hates me, as well, and I would most definitely understand why.
The thing is, I loved him. Still do. So why did I break his heart?
Because I'm an idiot, and an even worse b***h than I previously thought......
He was prefect for me in every way imaginable, except for one small detail... he was too far away.
We couldn't kiss.
Hug.
Hold hands.
Talk face-to-face.
But...... we could talk, at all. And that should have been enough for me. I'm selfish, and that's why it wasn't.... so I gave it up. Gave it all up....
Because I'm an idiot, and an even worse b***h than I previously thought......
He was prefect for me in every way imaginable, except for one small detail... he was too far away.
We couldn't kiss.
Hug.
Hold hands.
Talk face-to-face.
But...... we could talk, at all. And that should have been enough for me. I'm selfish, and that's why it wasn't.... so I gave it up. Gave it all up....
Sometimes I wish I hadn't. But what's done is done..... and I'm just venting. What has happened cannot be reversed.... and it's something it seems I'll have to live with. My friends are fed up with it, the two suitors are fed up with it, and I'm fed up with it...... maybe I should just let both go and just..... forget about everything.
Even though every time he talked to me, he made me smile in one way or another.... and he still does.
