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I find it funny how I'm constantly being told that I'm somebody's light, that I help make everything better.
I don't understand how I would, seeing as that guy isn't real.
It's a mask, a fake, the guy everyone meets is a replica, created by the real me.
I'm a dark person.
I have no light, only fake smiles, fake laughs.
I don't deserve to be alive.
This darkness in me, it's crushing, overwhelming.
It's under the surface, constantly beating me down.
I was nothing, no one. Simply a hallow husk that awaited death.
It would have been a sweet escape, that cold touch.
I would have welcomed it before, but now, I don't know.
Darkness, my pain, began to melt away, all because of one person.
She made me want to get up every morning so I could talk to her.
I got attached to my source of light, I thought everything would be good.
But, it was not meant to be.
That light, my salvation.
I had a brief glimpse of true happiness, a time I thought I had seen the end of pain.
I should have known that it wouldn't last, it never does.
I played my part as fate's b***h though.
I'm losing that light, and I already feel that cold, emptiness returning.
It hurts, so much more than ever.
Death is too good for me though, I'm not worthy of that yet.
How long before I break again?
When will I just give up?
My light is still there, but I know I'm losing her.
I told her I wouldn't hurt, and I began to believe myself.
What a fool.
All I have is my pain.
That is what tells me I haven't given up yet, but how long can I keep going?
The darkness will win eventually, I've no hope, no more chances.
No salvation.