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Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don’t have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.

Summary: What if Shinji was a docile boy, but looks a lot more than you gave him for. He maybe more trouble than he is worth it. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

Legend:
Bold - scene transfer
Italics - Shinji’s thoughts

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CHAPTER ONE: THE WHAT

Tokyo 3, 2015

Tokyo 3. A city that’s used to be filled with people. Now it’s nothing but a ghost town with the exception of the announcement throughout the city to take shelter and a lonely black hair boy, wearing a white collar t-shirt with black pants and a green back-pack, on the telephone booth. Who is hearing his own announcement.

“We’re sorry. Due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording.”

“Well. This…was a waste of time. Why did I even bother coming here?” The boy in question, Shinji Ikari, with a questioned face with a finger on his chin started to think back.

He then slam his right hand into his left palm.

“Oh yeahhhh…Uncle threw me out. But I wonder why he was crying with a smile if he threw me out? Oh well.”

He took out a picture, with a kiss mark on it with a name of Misato Katsuragi, of a full grown woman with purple hair, bending forward posing a peace sign, with a note to note of her impressive big feature that cannot be missed by any known reason...unless they are blind. Then oh well. Sorry for your loss.

“Interesting,” he looked up from the picture, “but what am I going to do now? She was to suppose to meet me sometime ago, of which I forgot what time I am suppose to meet her and where… oh well. Guess I’ll just…walk around until something happens.”

Just has he turned his head. He saw a girl with blue hair wearing a school uniform down the street.

“Oh well you look at that. There IS somebody in this city after all.” As he was about to walk towards her. Some birds flew by. Looking up and back to her just to see…

“Meow”

“A cat.” The boy looked at the cat that was staring at him. Then it ran off.

“Okayyyy. Now where did that girl go? Should I just wait here and let somebody find me or do I walk off and find somebody or do I…” He never got to finish that thought as the ground shook, bracing himself from the shock. Then he heard some helicopters and promptly looked at the direction of the sounds.

“What the…?!” Looking at the VTOLs flying backward from a giant humanoid monstrosity. It had a bird like face but flat, with white shoulder pads and a black body with red orb in the middle.

“Holy s**t on a stick! What the hell is THAT?!” *WHOOSH* *WHOOSH*

“Aahhh!” He looked up to see missiles flying by towards the creature. The creature took direct hits from the missiles and then it retaliated. One of the hit VTOLs crashed near him.

“WHOA! HAAAAAH! HAAAH! SONAVA b***h! What the Freak!” Shinji fell to the ground. Few seconds later a blue car stopped by. The passenger door opened to reveal a woman wearing shades.

“Sorry. Get in. Am I real late?” Shinji just bolted into the passenger seat, closed and locked the door.

“Drive!” Shinji yelled. The woman shifted gears and sped off as another VTOL crashed where they were.

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Few minutes later…

Does she really have to lean on me just to see what’s going out there? Not that I’m complaining what I’m staring at. It’s what I’m staring at that’s gonna kill me in a few seconds if SHE DOESN’T GET THE HELL OFF OF MEEEEEE!
Shinji yelled a muffled cry in Misato’s breasts, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.”

“Oops! Sorry. Hehe.” Misato leaned back into her own seat and just looked back at the action with her binoculars. She just see the VTOLs flying away and immediately she knew what they were doing.

“Now wait a second…No! They’re using the N2 mine! Get down!” Misato threw herself onto Shinji to protect him from the blast.

“The what now?” But the only answer he got was a bright flash and the car rolling and flying from the blast.

After the shockwave was over, the car finally stopped. Flipped upside down but stopped.

“Are you alright?” Misato asked Shinji.

“Yeah. Except my mouth is full of dirt and my clothes are dirty. And not in a good way.”

“You’ll be alright,” she said as she got out of the car along with Shinji, “Now come on.” They both leaned on the car.

“And go! Push.”
“I am pushing! But it won’t go back in!” What is he pushing in? Would YOU like to know…

“NOT that! The CAR!” They both pushed the car into the upright position.

“Yeah!” They both exclaimed. Misato clapped her hands to dust off the dirt.

“Thanks Shinji. You’re pretty useful.”

“Thanks. But I should thank you Ms. Katsuragi.”

“Ah Misato is fine. So Shinji Ikari. We meet at last.” Taking off her shades.

“Ah yeah.” Where the hell were you? Actually. Where the hell am I suppose to go? And wasn’t I suppose to do something?
It’s definitely not that. Not that. Nor that. Wait. Am I suppose to meet somebody? Who…?
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Few scenes later that are not important or just really damn boring and after much taping and battery stealing…I swear that must be an innuendo. Misato is currently talking on the phone driving Shinji towards their destination.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. His safety is my top priority.” Really? After the breast hold you did on me? Shinji continued to view the scenery outside the window.

“Look can you get a car train ready for us? An express of course.” A what now? A car…train? That had better be some kind of innuendo. Cuz I have never, ever heard of a car that is a train. Or a train that is a car. Well. There is a first time for everything…just hope not OF everything.

“Well I did volunteer to pick him up.” And you’re saying like that’s a bad thing?

“And it’s my duty that he makes it there.” I wonder how’s that milkshake doing.

“See ya!” She hangs up her phone. Shinji turns to look at Misato only to see her face changing expression to depression.

Why is she making those faces? Is something wrong? Is she worried about something? Does she needs to go to restroom? I hope so. I need to go since I got here. I KNEW I shouldn’t have gotten that extra large slurpee!

“Excuse me Misato?”

“Hmm? What‘s that?” She turned and smiled at him.

“Those batteries. Is it alright to take batteries from unattended stores? Isn’t it stealing?” Giving an accusing look at Misato.

“Um. Ah! Don’t worry. It’s an emergency, and we needed a working car right? Ah And I am a government official after all.”

Yeah and I’m an Admiral.

“So everything will be perfectly fine. OK? OK.”

“That’ssss not a very good excuse to use. Even if we did need a car.”
“You’re not fun. You know. You’re not cute as I thought you were.”

“Is that so? You not mature as I thought you were.”

“Grrrr!” Misato swerves the car to get back at Shinji.

“Whoa! Ah! Ah! Watch out! Misato! Watch out for that…!” And they continue to drive down the tunnel. No seriously that HAD to be an innuendo.

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More boring scenes blah blah angel this angel that blah blah cookie…

“The gate is now closing. Please stand clear…”

is said on the intercom as they are traveling down deeper of NERV. Riding on a car train (some sort of escalator for cars. I don't know from what I've seen the episode) down a clear view tunnel, that is currently showing nothing at the moment. Traveling down deeper of NERV.

Shinji is on his way to meet somebody.

“Huh?” said Shinji.

“Uh huh. So…how‘s it feel to meet your father again after all these years?”

“My what now?” Shinji looked at her with genuine curiosity. Misato just sweat dropped at that.

“Um…You do know who is your father right?” She asked. Hoping this was just a joke.

“Ummmm…ummmmm…umm…who?” Misato just face-planted onto the dashboard.

“You’re not serious are you?” Shinji just stares at her. “Sigh. Ok fine. You father is Gendo Ikari. He is the Supreme Commander of NERV. NERV is the last hope of humanity to stand against the Angels. The giant creature you just saw. Get it now?”

“……what?” Misato proceeds to bang her head on the dash broad and groans.

“Look never mind. You’ll meet him when you get there. OK?” Shinji just nods. “Good. Now take a look out of your window.” And Shinji does as he is told and sees…

“Meow.”

“A cat.” Shinji looked surprised by it. And it was the same cat as before. Misato was very shocked to see a cat hanging out of her window.

“What the!? How? What?” Misato just stares in awe at it as it just jumps off and disappearing into thin air.

“Wow how cool was that? Oh look a Geofront. How awesome is that!” And down and down they go…

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A/N: I am a beginner writer and I have written a story that looks like a fan fiction. Read and Review me. Please?

Sorry for it being short. But it is my first fan fic and I’ll be better as I go on. Now throw those flames and stones. And hopefully some water.