Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

The bright hospital lights glared down at me and into my bed. I squinted but they only seemed to glow brighter. The walls and ceiling were white,adding to my growing migraine. I must have gone insane,I thought to myself. Slowly the room came into focus,and so did the past eleven months. I was at home,in my bedroom. I was alive,not even close to dead.emotionally,yes,but not physically.Not to where the pain had gone away. I glanced to my side,my stuffed snow leopard sitting on my nightstand.Along with a rosary and a bible.
"What the hell?" I rasped. My voice was brittle,like dead leaves in Autumn.The idea of winter made me wince in pain. I glanced around my bedroom,at the mess.Various alcoholic bottles littered the floor,some empty some not. That would explain my hangover.
I glanced at my wrist,hoping to see my charm bracelet there,the little silver scythe usually comforting. I glanced down at my wrist and gasped again. Long,pink scars ran in jagged lines across the veins,some horizontal,some vertical. I Looked down at the floor once more and they were there. The razorblades,the knives,the lighters. All methods of pain I'd used to try and damn myself. That was why there was all the holy s**t.They had saved me.
I slowly began to realize what had happened. I had gone insane. I'd gone off the deep end,but resurfaced. I looked at the calendar,the date sending ice through me. December thirteenth. One year ago my life had been taken from me by my own hand. His voice from the dream the night before came back to me in full clarity. "Time to wake up,my love.Time to wake up."