I haven't dreamed of her in a while. The last entry was followed by a series of dreams with her as the premise. They were beautiful dreams, dreams that make you feel good when you awaken. They were the dreams that drew tears and forged smiles. Despite the positive effect of these dreams, they are like torture.
Once again my cowardice prevents me from creating any bridge of communication and it seems that these are the only way I can lay the bricks down. So while I sit here at 2:31 in the morning, listening to songs that resonate with my thoughts, I have to wonder if you're still there.
It feels even weirder typing this out, almost like a feeling of disgust. Imagine for a moment, creeping through the shadows of your former life, and then trying to emerge in the shadow of another. That the moment someone's gaze falls upon you, you retreat back inside of the darkness. Simple, subtle, acts are all you can conjure to attempt garnering that someone's attention.
However, I have to come to grips with my feelings. Whether she reciprocates my feelings seems futile. Even if I can hear her voice again, even if it is filled with happiness, what then? Will things brighten up or will they simply recede into the fall that scars me.
One day, when I won't care, I'll just go for it. I'll make my attempt to cross the bridge. One day, I hope to see you again.
Once again my cowardice prevents me from creating any bridge of communication and it seems that these are the only way I can lay the bricks down. So while I sit here at 2:31 in the morning, listening to songs that resonate with my thoughts, I have to wonder if you're still there.
It feels even weirder typing this out, almost like a feeling of disgust. Imagine for a moment, creeping through the shadows of your former life, and then trying to emerge in the shadow of another. That the moment someone's gaze falls upon you, you retreat back inside of the darkness. Simple, subtle, acts are all you can conjure to attempt garnering that someone's attention.
However, I have to come to grips with my feelings. Whether she reciprocates my feelings seems futile. Even if I can hear her voice again, even if it is filled with happiness, what then? Will things brighten up or will they simply recede into the fall that scars me.
One day, when I won't care, I'll just go for it. I'll make my attempt to cross the bridge. One day, I hope to see you again.
