Today was supposed to be the day where we went up to the city (San Francisco) to go to LUSH cosmetics. You've probably seen the ads. They're eco friendly, vegetable, gentle on water, not tested on animals products... The BART ride up was fun. I was so excited. So excited when we got there, too. We found the store fairly easily.
The trouble began when I began putting things in my basket... She began nagging me and telling me to not use my money on everything... It was my hard earned money, I could spend on it what I wanted to... I had left 60 bucks at home over her reccomendation. Though I asked her what would happen if I didn't have enough for everything in my basket.
She said she'd pay for it, and I'd pay her back when I got home. But then I said I was going to lose my temper (And I was trying so hard to keep calm. Not one of my better traits.) if she kept nagging me. I managed to not get angry, though.
She told me to do what I wanted. I had wanted to get her something too, but now she was acting like this, I made a resolve to get her NOTHING, because I was NOT the one that lost their temper IN PUBLIC. She said ******** you to me and stormed out. I rang up at the register and I was quite some bucks short... I went out and asked for her to pay, but she said she never said she NEVER would do anything of the sort, even though she said she would! I ended up cutting out a lot of what I wanted to buy.... And I'm not even sure I want to use any of it. It feels dirty. It's like the time where I bought Dante's Divine Verdict on gaia but the first day I wore it after I bought it three people I thought were my friends betrayed me, and the one I thought was on very good terms with me was wearing the exact same item, so I don't wear it anymore...
She then said that I had ruined her day and that we were NEVER coming back up to the city, and that I couldn't petsit for the 3 cats down the hill that require a short drive ever again. Which is bad, because I have a month long job coming up in February and the cat's owner is not going to find another petsitter on such short notice. I was so upset, I had one of my worst fears realized. I cried in public, infront of alot of other people on the way back. And people were like, staring at me sympathetically...
We were silent the whole way back and I just collapsed on my bed when I got home and cried my eyes out... Sometimes when I'm around her, I just want to kill myself, she makes me so depressed and upset. Mabye then it'd be better.
Right now, I honestly don't know who to blame. Myself for not being good with money, or HER for losing her temper and not expecting as much from me, and not keeping her promise. She KNEW this would happen if she adopted me, and alot more, and yet she was not prepared. Call me a brat if you want, I probably deserve it.
So this was my haul for Chanukah this year... I know I'm missing two days worth, and tonights the last night, and I will have relatives coming over soon, but I'm not sure and I'm really depressed right now...
New slippers, nightgown, and a new bathrobe, a new scarf
2 new pairs of earbuds (cupcakes and cats), and a ipod case
itunes giftcard, barnes and noble gift card, lush gift card, keplers gift card (famous book store.)
2 doctor who t-shirts, and a sonic screwdriver that doubles as a pen
2 books, ipod car charger.
And here's what I got at LUSH today. (The feelings and views expressed on these products are NOT what the company claims about it. They're just my personal views. If you're a smellophile or a soap doap as much as I am, I highly reccomend everything here.):
1 Lust Gorilla Perfume (Jasmine, mostly. So lustful.)
1 You Snap The Whip Body Butter (Has Charcoal and Pumice in it, along with Black currant. I fell in love with it. It's sexy and it's both invigorating and relaxing.
4 So White Bath Bombs (Smells delicious. Don't look for it online, it's discontinued, but if you're near an outlet of theirs, go look for it, I'm sure there's plenty left. Not sure what's in it, though, but it smells so good!)
2 Rose Queen Bath Bombs (Going to save all my bath bombs for special occasions or when I feel like I really need it. Uses Rose Absolute, Cistus Oil, Golden Needle Lily petals, Amaranth Flowers, Apple Blossoms, Honey Suckle Flowers, Larkspur Flowers, Citronellol, and Limonene. Sounds delightful.)
2 chunks of Karma soap (Best seller. Patchouli, orange, lemongrass, pine, and lavendin oil. It reminds one of the 60s. I highly reccomend this soap for ANYONE.)
2 Karma Komba shampoo bars (One of the many kinds of solid shampoo bars that LUSH creates for every kind of hair. This was the first product I got from Lush, and I got it from the outlet in Lahaina in Maui. You probably remember me mentioning it in one of my previous entries. Karma Komba has Orange Oil in it, Patchouli, along with lemongrass just like in their karma soap. It's good for long and or oily hair, and sooths an itchy and overreactive scalp. Also helps to detangle, so with my 3 foot long hair, it's a win.)
1 Sweetie Pie Shower Jelly (Yes, it's Jelly. It's like jello but soap, and it's smells SO good. Like Cherry Soda, just like advertised. It's beautiful and purple and glittery. Uses Cherry Infusion, cypress, coconut, and Lavendin oil as well as black currant for such a sweet decadent smell. I can't wait to use it. Reviews said their bath jellies were hard to use, but this is going to last a while. I'm going to use little itty pieces. They're selling it now, but snap it up before they discontinue this delicious soap! Try sticking it in the refridgerator to chill it on a hot day for a wonderful sensation. This is one of the products I wish I could have bought more of. It'tl go delicious with my Snap The Whip body butter.)
Sorry again for not posting sooner... Got s**t going on...
-Sera
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