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I still can't believe...
It's been almost two weeks since you broke my heart. I kinda saw it coming since you kept hinting with videos of couples of just being friends, but I wasn't able to accept it. Why? Because I never been so happy in my life, but that happiness just went out the door. You say you were happy and love me, but were unhappy with your life which hurted me a lot because I thought I was your life, well part of it anyway. I gave you everything I could ever give to anyone..not the plushies, promise ring..well, we'll get to that part, and wig...but that's not exactly what I meant by everything. I meant all my heart and soul, my world. The promise ring I gave you on your birthday, it was when I fully gave you those two important things of my life, I wasn't trying to start a deep commitment with you..I was deeply expressing my love for you, a tiny step sure. It was difficult to drop Aiko off at the SPCA, because I started a bond with her, but I feel like I betrayed her when I dropped her off. I held her tightly and cried, apologizing for whatever happened between me and you, I told her to be a good girl, that I would never forget her and to start being less shy around humans seeing how she came to one of my nephew's friend when they came by to see The Walking Dead. I realized...you didn't leave me twice..you left me as a friend before, but I left you as a lover. I was being delusional that you left me twice, but I was wrong...however, you did broke my heart twice, so I am sorry for telling you that you left twice, I was wrong. I'm always wrong, you know how many times I blamed myself. Life sucks right now, everything is so dark, I feel like my soul is wandering deep into darkness and screaming in a terrible agony. Who knows, maybe someday it'll find light..but only God could tell that. Okay, there's off my chest...
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