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For a while I have looked up various techniques and ways of being more social, how to be a better boyfriend, or get any girl you want, and I got some good pointers here and there, giving me a bit of confidence, and pretty much advice to help me in my social life. Most notably how to be better with girls. But one advice from a guy who pretty much objected to this was that, “There isn't a one thign that will magically get you girls in bed. You have to know what you stand for, otherwise you would fall for anything.”

So like the ignorant person I am, I just agreed with what he said without fully understanding what he meant. It seemed that what he meant was to know what you tolerate and what you don't. Therefore your actions should come from that. I did a little self reflection on myself and what I came are a number of things about me that are perplexing.

For one why do I keep on talking to girls that I want to hang out with but never give me a chance to do so. Why do I have girls on my friends list I barely know and/or will never see. Some of these girls i take to heart and would love to go out with them, as a part of me is a hopeless romantic, but if I can't go out with them, what is the point of me talking with them? Furthermore, if this desire keeps on persisting but doesn't get filled, why don't I just end it with them. I'm starting to figure out what I want to do with a girl and if they don't want share that, then I'll wish them a good life. If I don't it just puts one of us on edge and I don't seeing it end well. I just don't want to waste my energy.

Second is changing my habit and thinking about my problems. I tend to not do or accomplish a lot of the goals I set myself up and I just get frustrated. However there was this one quote my friend gave me was that, “I don't try to set up to try and get into college by this year, but rather I try to set up to make peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the morning.” It is very simple but what it does is sets myself up for goals I can manage and do, but nevertheless strive to go out of my comfort zone. So one thing I will do is try to apply for 5 jobs and talk to at least one girl and get her number. It is very simple but I need to set it up cause my last few attempts haven't been so successful and I just been very frustrated. So then what I want to do is just take it easy again and go from ground zero.

As for thinking about my problems, I would over think them. I would over think about situations, I would over think about consequences, and over think about my actions. What I end up doing is I don't remain present in the moment. A perfect example of this is the movie Fight Club where they used fighting as a passtime. As cliche as it sounds, it makes them feel alive and in the moment. See when you are punched by someone, your immediate action is to punch them back. Your objective is to beat them never the less but your just thinking about what will you do for that first punch and looking for every opportunity to do as much damage as possible. It makes you focus on the now. Like writing this article.

Another thing is just with all of these tips and tricks of getting girls. I personally am against them not because it manipulates girls. But because it doesn't feel like this is what I would say to them, like an act. I'm all for the tips is they helped getting the kind of girls I like, but they are not the magic bullet. Getting girls shouldn't be my focus in life, but rather a part of it. I focus on my studies, my articles, my learning, my workforce experience, my artistic side, and everything that I can learn and become better in.

What I can only do is do things that I am capable of and do them at my pace. Doing what I must to better myself and benefiting myself as the only thing I can control is myself. But what is the sad part is that some people don't even know how to do that. Good thing I'm ahead of the curve.