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I sort of quit on Gaia a while back, because people were being negative, and I felt attacked. I've been being hospitalized a LOT more lately, and I'm thinking of giving Gaia another go, it's something to do while I'm stuck here.
For people who don't know my situation, I have Cystic Fibrosis. Which lead to diabetes, which has led to kidney failure. In the last few hospital stays, including my current one, they've put a shunt or fistula in my arm for dialysis. Soon to come within the next few months. I'm terrified... but its either that or slowly die from kidney failure, so I don't really have a choice.
Right now I'm stuck in with C-diff. Which is a lot of stomach cramping, and puking. On and off eating. I try to get everything I can in, because through the years I've lost a lot of weight, and was 77lbs. upon entering the ER this time around.
I've been really sad lately, because my husband said we can't have kids. I can't have kids anyways, but I had wanted to look into adoption or surrogacy. But he just feels like I'm too sick for him to feel like it would be a partnership in raising the child. I cried for days and days. But he's right in a way. I still want to raise a sweet little baby, and if I ever get better, and Matt changes his mind... I'll still consider being a parent.
Right now we're saving for a house, while living with my parents so they can pay off their mortgage. They are currently adopting from China... so come the end of the year, I'll have a new little sister and get to live with her! Very excited about that.
When we have the money to start looking for a house, we want one in my home town, and we want to buy a dog and another kitty. I can't have human babies, at least I can have some of the four legged kind.

Otherwise... life is life. In and out of the Mass Gen a LOT. The nurses know me by heart. Can't wait for the summer. I'm determined to not be as sick as I have been. DETERMINED. So yeah. That's it.
heart -L