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I can't help but not get over what happens in class. Kids yelling and shouting and not shutting up for me to consintrate. I have went through this all my school years besides last year because I was home schooled. I hate it when i'm picked it I hate it when im teased. I hate being reminded of crap I did in the past. Every day I wonder why can't people let go of the past, grow the hell up and move on with their stupid lives. It drives me insaine. Most of the time when I need someone to talk to, theres rarely anyone I trust enough to tell. I let the guild eat me....I just come to the conclution that soem of my classes are not worth of me being there what so ever. I can never do things right, I can't fix my mistakes or my problems. I wonder why do I try so hard to fit in where theres really no point if Im just going to be one of those out cases with little friends. I do admit I feel the only place I do fit in is at the Anime club at school because thats where I feel some of my good friends are. Why do it even matter if I want to do what i want to do. Whats the point of trying to deal with the crap that I do. when I tell someone to shut the hell up they turn around and say say the same thing to me. I can't really hide my emotions like a lot of my friends or some of my family. Whats the point of crying when I know ill get laughed at by a lot fof the kids. Whats the point of me even wanting to get the crap off my chest knowing only a few people will listen. Thats why i like being on the computer all the time. Thats why I like role-playing when I can because I'm not in the real world there I'm where i want to be. No one likes to listen to some one who would just complain about the crap they have going on. Why do people even care? Everything I do I try to impress a lot of people with what i can do. There's no point in being some one I'm not really. Even though I wish I can escape this world for good and wish that som,e of the Anime characters that I love would just take me away from everything I have to deal with. Less problems right? I can't deal with the stress enough with people at school that i just want to cry my eyes out when I dont get what i need to finish. Is it Normal to be like this? Am i just being a spazz about something as minior as a sub not able to controle a class room? I am a high school student but that's the point I guess. How to I get my class to understand that if they dont shut up I suffer as much as they do. There are days where they are good but others i want to hide away. Is this as normal as it's going to get for me? I guess I'm on my own for now....
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