Alight... it's time to get it all out.
But I need an Update on this thing first.
A) me and Will broke up like... 4 months ago...
B) I dated my best friend here for 3 weeks before he went back to his ex girlfriend and now they're dating.
C) I'm dating one of my ex's girlfriends friends. Lol. try and figure that one out... but his name is Ryan
D) We've been dating for almost three months now.
E) I couldn't be happier...when i'm with him... without him.. life sucks. You'll see why
Alright. Got it? Good.
Lately... my mom has been hassling me uncontrollably. It's driving me insane. She thinks everything i say is negative and is to put down my brother. We were in the car driving home from Kentucky (about a 4 hour car drive) and I had said something, i don't remember but I'm sure it wasn't even about Dylan and my mom goes: "I swear if you said anything nice at all I might have a heart attack." I told this to my step mom and she said that really nothing I say is negative, because even when I rant like this I smile and laugh. But seriously... it's driving me insane.
And she's been getting on my nerves about this whole church thing. Ironically I'm a little "Goth" Girl who lives in the Bible Belt of Tennessee. I don't go to church, i'm Agnostic and i don't care too much for religion in fact, and I express that freely. I don't like people who go around trying to force their beliefs on everyone else. And the dress code at my school bothers me. We're not allowed to wear anything "Satanic" a.k.a. anything that has skulls or something on it. Yet people can go around wearing T-shirts that talk about god and all of that. It just bothers me. But me and Mom and Dylan and my sister were at the airport and my sister tossed me a pamphlet that said something like "Do you have god in your life?" and we laughed about it and my mom goes: "I'm surprised you didn't burst into flames". I was like... WTF.... I'm not going to start yelling about people leaving those pamphlets around and I'm not going to freak out about it either. I just state my opinion when it relates to me... that pamphlet had nothing to do with me. She's just been driving me insane like that.
And then she keeps accusing me of having Sex with Ryan. She's not totally wrong... but she doesn't need to know that. Not yet. But nonetheless.... I haven't acted any different around her about the subject, it still makes me blush like mad and stammer. But still... she keeps accusing Ryan and me of it and she keeps accusing Ryan of things. Like I was seriously grounded from my step-mom's house because she would let Ryan stay the night or stay to at least 3 a.m in the morning. Okay. My mom would go to bed at nine so he would leave or we would be out till 11 or so. My step mom stays up later till about 3. Thats when he would leave. There is no difference there! It's driving me insane. That and she doesn't want me to ride in the car with him anymore because she thinks his driving isn't safe. It's not like I'm fearing for my life everytime i get into the car with him or something. Granted he does drive a little fast, but yeah... so? Like I said, i've never thought we were going to crash or anything. It's stupid. And especially because I don't have my permit yet, that just means I'd be stuck at the house. And Me and Ryan both don't want to be stuck at the house because of my little brother who decides that it's the perfect time to go and bug big Sissy and her boyfriend until they litterally pick him up by the feet and drag him out of the room becuase he wont listen. Yeah... it's annoying. So we want to get out of the house and have some fun. But If I can't go in the car with him and i can't drive, what the hell am I supposed to do. That's why i broke up with Will. I'd never be able to see him, and because Ryan doesn't go to Spring Hill, he graduated already, When am i supposed to see him? I trust his driving better than my other friends... and he's been driving longer then my other friends. Am I supposed to ask my mom for a ride to wherever I wanna go when she hates to drive just to go to the mall? And by the time I get into the car with Ryan, we still have no idea where we're going... we just call someone up and see if they wanna hang out. So I don't know what i'm supposed to do about that. It's gay. It's a no win situation right now. And I'm beginning to think that even though my mom let me date him in the beginning she's almost trying to come up with ways to seperate us. WTF.
I don't know why she would wanna do that though. Granted he's 19 and I'm 16, but she has even said it herself that he is good for me. He makes me happy.... I've even told him before that I don't think i've ever been as happy as when I'm with him. I do honestly love him.
Then there was the whole Christine/Ryan thing that went on. I had heard it from Taylor... and lately, she too is pissing me off. Christine is a friend even though she supposedly cheated with Taylor's boyfriend, Joe in the back of Ryan's Car. Apparently they were really drunk and hot and took off their clothes... bad situation yes... but Taylor has Joe believing that he actually had sex with her. I asked Christine about it and she said that taylor is still threatening her and it's starting to freak her out. Christine even said that she was willing to tell Taylor that yes they did have sex, just so Taylor will leave her the ******** alone and stop threatening her. Taylor has been bugging me because of it. She threatened Christine because Christine is going to end up working at Wendy's with Joe. Okay... SO WHAT?! It's not like they're going to go have sex in the parking lot or something. I believe Christine has at least more respect for herself than that. and With what Taylor told another friend of mine, she's really starting to start some s**t just because her relationship is going bad. I'm not worried about Ryan and Christine having sex... I trust Ryan and I think that when taylor told me they did, that she was just trying to get me to hate Christine too. I honestly think that. not because I'm blinded by love and in denial.... I've asked him about it and he too thinks Taylor is being a b***h. Actually.. he flat out told her that. Though she took it the wrong way saying that he called her a b***h and that he threatened her. She told Joe and Joe yelled at Ryan. So Ryan is being forced to apologize to Taylor, which I dunno if he has done yet. I doubt it though. Lol. And I really don't think that he did anything with Christine because when this whole thing came up with joe and Taylor and taylor saying Ryan called her a b***h, Christine complained to Ryan about it and he didn't like that. He was willing to break off all ties with Christine, Taylor and Joe. and I doubt if there was anything going on, that he would be that willing to do that.
I don't know... this whole thing just pisses me off and makes me mad. I try not to think about it but it's hard because I see Taylor sometimes on the bus. Though last time she was on the bus she didn't say a word to me. Whatever. I don't care. Not anymore.
JUST EVERYONE GET THE ******** OUT OF EVERYONES BUSINESS. biggrin easy as that.
[Fallen] Angel Community Member 
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