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I don't really care who read this. This is just somewhere i can vent my feelings. I spent 2 hours today clothes shopping with my mom i'm not even embarrassed or ashamed about this. My mom's a great person to talk to. Shes been there for me through my whole life watching me grow and fall. Not living up to my dad's expectations. Watching me get beat and unable to do anything to stop it. So i was talking to her about my long distance relationship that hadn't been the best. She sat down with me and just talked about what a relationship needs. The one thing i lack is trust and i don't really know how to gain it back. I lost it with my dad and never gained it back and i don't want to lose it with the woman i love. She hates liars too. so every time i lie and she catches me i just die a little inside because when she explains that she doesn't care if my attempts at love make me look stupid the fact that i told the truth was the thing that does count.
Just hold your head up admit you were wrong and try to move on. Sometimes i can be a dork Ericka and sometimes i can be stupid and say untruthful things. I just wanted you to know if you ever read this that i love you and i'm learning from our relationship.