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lately its been hard. last summer you told me we could not be friends. i was never told why. for me saying your parents did not approve isnt enough. i wanted answers, specifically from your own words. i wanted to ask you so many things: what did i do; what didnt i do; what should have i done; was it my fault? i wish i knew

i tried to forget. i deleted all my pictures from the cruise; erassed all of your contact information; deactivated my deviantart profile; unfriended our teen club friends; removed anything i had from alaska that would remind me of you. nothing worked.

when the radio goes and plays "payphone", i think about you and the plans we've once made: we planned to always be friends; me to go2 your high school graduation; i planned to introduce you to my girlfriend/fiance; to always be there for you. if happy ever after did exist, i would never let you go. i would give you your dues, the ones you deserve. you've said it was too late to change anything, but is it really to late to try?

"when i was your man" plays and i cant help but think about what i should have done when i was your friend. the cruise was too short for me to realize how important you were to me. i should have acted on my honest feelings and just been with you more when we were on the cruise. i wish i would have apologized for all that i did, and hear you say it was okay or you forgave me if i did anything wrong during/after the cruise.

there's a lot of things i wish for you now that i cant see/talk to you. i wish you had someone 2 sing with you when you sang; to give you a shoulder to lean on when you are sad; a friend to talk to when life's too much. (i'd have 2 steal this from bruno mars) but i hope that you have someone that'll "Give you all [their] hours when [they] have the chance; Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance; Do all the things I should have done when i [had the chance]." (korny, awkward i know. but i hope you know what i mean.)

- Wtphu

PS. i love you