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Recipe for Disaster - Dinner Party Version
-additions to guest list to include the following:
xxxx-small children of guests already invited
-all crystal tableware
-white tablecloth
-main course: spaghetti and meatballs
-three large, poorly-trained dogs with free-reign of the house/apartment
-stove/oven and refrigerator to break 3hrs before the party
-next door neighbors decide to have loud rave party the same night
-miscommunication about time party starts, causing guests to arrive 1hr early
-heated political argument arises between two guests over dinner
-demolition crew mistakes this apartment complex for one scheduled for demolition and begins to break down walls (if anyone other than Chocolate Sprinkles gets this reference I will love you forever)

Recipe for waking up between two strange Mexicans in down town philly

1 College Student
1 Party
8 Shots of Tequila
1 Pinch of unknown substance
2 six packs
1 Tablet of Zanex

Start with your attending college. Find closest wild party.

Before attending, add 8 shots of strong tequila and one pinch of unknown substance from a stranger. to the college student.

Leave at party for 2 to 3 hours, add Zanex pill and Beer to taste.

Let sit for 5 hours.

Will wake up next to two unknown Mexican men in downtown Philly.




...... True story.

1 crazy person
1 'alternative' nightclub
1 friendly stranger
1 small group of lame friends


First, you need to take the crazy person to an 'alternative' nightclub.
Add one friendly stranger with a few free shots (it's alright if you have met them before, but you cant have socialized with them for more than 30 minutes.)

Mix untill the group of lame friends' xenophobia becomes too strong to stay at the nightclub any longer.

Result: An hour trip home with a crazy person that thinks the friendly stranger put LSD into the drinks, but is the only person with 'symptoms'. As well as a terribly boring night dancing by yourself with a bunch of people that wont talk to anyone but whom they came with.

For extra flavor, you could add a promiscuous mother to the mix as well. It adds an extra level of embarrassment to the night out that can only be overcome by drinking so much you get sick and blackout.

I was going to have toast this morning, but I ran out of bread. So I had to go to the store. Because I had to go to the store, my sandal broke off. When I had to bend don to fix my sandal, a bullet passed by me. Because a bullet passed by me, I ran the other way. Because I ran the other way i fell down a hill. When I fell down the hill I ran over the ice-cream man. Because I ran over the ice-cream, I got ban from his ice-cream. Because I got banned, I wanted a hug. I wanted a hug so I spent 20 minutes walking to my friends house. Because I spent 20 minute walking to my friend's house, I see him about to walk into the house with his grocery. Because he saw me looking at his grocery he tells me that he bought the last loaf of bread. When he bought the last loaf of bread he was going to call...only to remember that the store didn't have the phone I wanted to buy.

*sigh* And it's all because of radio shack

Moral: Keep your magical potions away from your veggies please. gonk

Work goat...hard at work for monies...










Don't pay the goat too much, he will out buy you on those wings you always wanted... emotion_donotwant

Cookie finally meets the love of his life..PAULA heart

She cook him good cookies..

TOO GOOOD!!! gonk







Cookie addiction is a problem in Sesame Street, it causes heartbreak....... emo

Look at this donut tower....



Now look at Homers face...



now that is a recipe for disaster!!! rofl

Look at this recipe for disaster!!! rofl

...lunch times. eek

DELICIOUS.

Take one English boy, stoner, free spirited.

Take one conservative Mormon girl.

Take her mega overprotective mom who still treats her like a little kid.

Add a small dash of her mom doesn't want her to marry out of her ethnicity.
gaia_angelright gaia_spoons gaia_nitemareleft
Sprinkle in the fact that they've been secretly dating for about five years now.
emotion_bigheart emotion_bigheart heart emotion_bigheart emotion_bigheart
And she'll eventually have to tell her mom.

First get Vanilla Ice cream.

Then throw out all the ice cream
Step 2. Get a bottle of lotion
Step 3. Replace Ice cream with Lotion
Step 4. Freeze the lotion inside the ice cream container.
step 5. Share out Ice Cream to anyone
Step 6. Watch disaster happen

Recipe for disaster (movie):

Ingredients needed
1 highly populated location (preferably new york city)
1 scientifically-unlikely but catastrophic event (large scale climate change, asteroid, alien invasion, or zombie outbreak. Or try other substitutions.)
1 washed-up former expert OR 1 rebellious teen (for simplicity, we;ll abbreviate as "hero"
1 ex-wife OR 1 attractive but out-of-his-league co-ed
1 awesome method of transportation (Ferrari, rocketship, Air Force One, etc)
1 Fluffy sidekick, such as a dog
1-2 minority sidekicks
1-3 Eccentric scientists
Several closed-minded politicians

Maybe funny, maybe not. Hope no one takes offense.

Ingredients:

1 Annoying Female, preferably amply endowed
1 Industrial Fan Propeller


Directions:

Turn on propeller.
Have argument with female, slowly backing her towards the whirling blades.

Until you have 'dis-assed-her'.

9:03: [Alarm clock ringing. Person on bed hit the snooze button.]
9:13: [Snooze button again.]
9:23: s**t. I'm two hours late for work.
9:28: Oh no. Out of toilet paper. Guess I'll have to drip dry.
9:32: @#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*( I FORGOT TO HIT THE BUTTON ON THE DRYER?! D: MY CLOTHES ARE SOAKED.
9:43: [Buttoning white pants and sucking in. Super suckage. White shirt too small and showing an adquate amount of cleavage] I look like Shamu on a wedding day.
10:00: TRAFFIC AT THIS HOUR?! D:
10:14: The boss wants to talk to me about being late.
11:03: "HEY, ARE YOU SHOWING OFF THE JAPANESE FLAG ON THE BACK OF YOUR JEANS?" -_______-
11:54: Lunch, finally! MY FAVORITE. TACOS YES BABY MY DAY IS ABOUT TO GET BETTER.
12:00: "Sorry honey, Fatso Joe took the last taco." NOOOO.
1:04: Only three hours left. I can do it.
2:04: Coffee time! *spill* "Well that's another way to get a suntan... "
4:04: "Lets talk about your tardiness!" -______-
5:21: I HATE TRAFFIC. I WANT TO PUNCH ALL TRAFFIC IN THE FACE.
6:00: I just want to go home and watch WifeSwap!
7:00 "We interrupt this broadcast with some breaking news! Twinkies are going out of business forever!"
8:00: I need a large dose of Fukitol.
9:00: Bedtime, I'm going to bed so early.
3:00am: I hate everything.