Do my words have any weight at all? Have they ever?
I'm so full of bullshit; lies and empty promises and insincerity.
When was the last time I followed through?
When was the last time someone counted on me and I didn't disappoint them
When was the last time I tried to change and succeded?
I can't remember.
I'm toxic, emotionally abusive, scum, and yet I'm still shocked when a relationship ends.
The mindset I'm in is wrong; I realize that.
I've over glorified you, like some kind of diety.
And I forget that you're not the same person.
I don't know you anymore.
It's crumbling; I'm rotting, and devouring others happiness keeps me breathing.
I've lost so many.
So many have lost so much.
Because of me.
I'm so afraid of myself, of what I do.
I'd rather put people through pain by being alive than hurt them with my death.
Wish as I might to end my worthless existence, I won't.
I can't.
I'm selfish, but I'm going to make it past sixteen.
 Polyester Dreams · Tue Mar 11, 2014 @ 05:50am · 0 Comments |
