"I've never had siblings.."
The sentence echoed through the room, causing my friend to turn to me. His face was filled with confusion at the random statement I had made. We had been sitting for the past few hours watching random things on the TV while lounging about in my livingroom. It was rainy outside, otherwise we would have gone outside and explored the forest behind my house like we did every day.
"Well I know that," He said, looking back at the TV, "I've been your friend since forever, remember?"
"Well yeah.." I replied, "I just.. I dunno. Forget I said anything, sorry." I was stupid for saying anything about it, it was random. I didn't even know where it was coming from, to be honest. "I'm just being wistful again, rainy weather always gets me like this."
We sat there for a while, without saying things. It's why I had been his friend for so long; sometimes we could perfectly understand what was going on without saying a single thing. We could spend hours together and not mind the silence, because it wasn't an empty silence. I had never been more comfortable with a human being in my entire life, to be honest. After a while I heard him sigh, and he sat up and looked at me.
"Alright, I know it's more than just the weather, tell me what's going on." Even though his tone was neutral I could hear the worry behind it. He always worried more than what was good for him.
"Well I just..." I paused for a second to collect my thoughts and think of a way to get out what I was feeling, I wasn't used to this kind of thing. "I just see you with your sister all the time, you know? I wonder what it would be like... I always hear people talking about how much they hate their siblings but at the same time, I think it's just because they don't understand what they have. I don't have a family member I can share everything with, someone who understands how weird my family is, someone who will always stick with me."
"You have me, don't you?" He asked, looking a little hurt that I had said I had no one.
"Th-that's not what I meant!" I said, exasperated. I always found a way to say things wrong, even if I hadn't intended to. "I'm glad that I have you, don't think that I'm not. I don't think I would even be sane without you; with my parents being gone all the time... You're the only person I can count on to be here for me. I just.. Some day you're going to have a family of your own.. a girl is going to take your heart and you're going to go with her and slowly forget about me.. Everyone always does, it's not like I'm blaming you or anything."
I readjusted myself, hugging my knees to my chest and resting my chin on my arms. I was glad that my hair broke eye contact between me and him; I had never really talked to him about how scared I was to lose him. "I mean.. next year we're going to be juniors, that's scary enough.. but that's when things start getting really serious relationship wise.. You.. You start thinking about marriage and a life and kids.. I mean we're both sixteen; we only have two more years before we're adults. And they say that friends you had in grade school don't stick with you after because of the separation via going to different states for college... I mean you're going to Harvard and I'm going to a college in Colorado, that's so far away.. "
I felt tears well in my eyes, "One way or another we're going to lose each other.. I know it.. "
I didn't hear anything from him, the room was silent beside the voices from the TV and the sound of the rain hitting the house. I didn't know if he was mad, I didn't want to look. Suddenly I felt him grab my arm and pull me close to him, holding me to his chest. I could feel him almost trembling and he wrapped his arms tightly about me, and when he spoke his voice cracked and broke.
"You won't lose me, no matter what happens I can promise you that. You're important to me, as equally important as any girlfriend or family I can ever have. I think of you almost like a sister... No matter what happens, no matter how far apart we are, or who I meet, that will never change." His words were precise, as if he had thought them over a million times in his head before he had said them today.
I couldn't help it, I started to cry. All the while he held me close, as strong as he ever was; both physically and mentally. I could've sworn I heard him cry too, though.
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Persephone Cosplayer
[ 𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 / TOR ] - engaged
This is my face, I guess.
Tired.
People suck.
I don't dissociate enough for this s**t.
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