rofl
Is it sad, it is 2015, I am a second year veterinary student, and I am still running to this site to make journal entries?
It's the only place where I still feel safe enough, and anonymous enough to express how I feel to the public...but not really. Haha! Truly, who is going to read this other than myself in 2-3 years?
I am experiencing a turmoil of emotion and indecision. Jeremy has been more and more and more distant with me lately, and I finally understand why: it's...BUM BUM BUUUM another woman.
Heh. Should I be surprised? No. Am I surprised anyways? Frankly, yes.
I figured it out when he told me in August that he regretted staying true to me when another woman was hitting on him. The only other woman that I am aware of is a new intern at his workplace. I forgave him for that statement, and we were once again a "happy" couple. Then he started getting distant.
It culminated to this morning. The way he looked at me via FaceTime, the things he said... he didn't care about me. I felt it. I knew it.
While he was with his family for a Labor day BBQ, I sent him a breakup text, telling him I couldn't take this anymore. I have put so much into this relationship, I am tired of giving.
My mom mocked me and said: "Well this breakup will only last 5 minutes, just like all the other ones." After that, I knew Jeremy thought the same. I will be mailing him all of his things tomorrow afternoon in a show of solidarity and stubbornness.
I thought I was strong. I thought I had grown. But in the end I am just an inexperienced, emotionally immature little girl.
What am I? Is everything that my life is. because I leaned on someone else's shoulders, because my own legs are too weak to stand on their own? What have I done? What am I going to do?
Will I ever be able to live a life being respected by anyone? Will I ever be loved by anyone?
...ENOUGH OF THIS EMO s**t. I've checked in to Gaia for the first time in 2 years, I have done my duty. Enjoy your evening, you little glop of cow pie.
Red_Strigosus Community Member 
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