I hate my lies...i hate myself
I lied.
I always lie.
I lie about everything and to everyone.
I lied to hurt and I lied to deceive. A constant stream of oral deceit created in my need....
My need for what? There is no founding to that. I did not lie. It is not a lie to repeat what is considered truth.
It does not matter. I spoke the falseness of the truth and in this act.... I hurt
I hurt myself. But more importantly I hurt another.
I contrived to create an illusion of fakery, believing it to be truth, to understand an act of pain developed in a mind of jealousy and consumed by a mind ruled by the guilt and reputation of past accounts.
Destroying the angel that had given me the ability to feel, the ability to consider my own forgiveness for past discretions.
I do feel now. I feel the hurt that I so mastered in my contempt of myself.
Pity me for I lied. I lie. I will lie. Do not forgive me. Forgiveness is only bestowed on those deserving of it. Those that believe there transgressions are forgivable.
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