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Well I messaged someone on my dating site and so far I have been coming up empty. Again, this personal romantic absence in my life is really being a downer. Between that and ANOTHER dream concerning my crush, and this time it really felt like whoever or whatever s doing this was really rubbing it in.

And on top of that, my landlady is bringing over the ex-friend who forcefully kissed me tomorrow. And while I wouldn't normally care, they are friends they can stay friends whatever, my door is snowed in so I have to go through her door to get to my car and my apartment, which means any time tomorrow I might have to see him. And of course all these bad things happened to him after the event. It feels like when it gets brought up its like they are trying to shame me for reacting to the event at all. Like "oh look death happened in his family, that TOTALLY makes up for what he did." Bullshit, I say its Karma at work. Especially when he told me he didn't want to be my friend because I just didn't magically get better when he felt like I should. I spit at him. He only proved how he really thought of me and that the minute I stopped being a sexual object for him to obtain, I was no longer a desirable companion. The gods have punished him for his horrible ignorance and stupidity and I never want him near me again. Or anyone who dares sympathizes with him.

And I found out my ex who has remained my friend unsubscribed from me on Youtube, most likely cause I did as well during my freak-out. I unfriended everyone and cut off contact for week both because I was angry that I knew people were going to side with my ex-friend and as well as make sure I didn't like blow up in their face. I was going to resubscribe but since he did that, then screw it. I am not kissing the a** of my borderline abusive ex who sympathizes with a dude who thinks its okay to sexually touch me without my person. Its just a reminder of how much of a joke that relationship was.

I am just burning at the injustice of it all and that these people believe that they an get away with this. I hope the gods bring me some form of peace concerning this as well as more justice. I am owed repentance.

At least so far people on DA enjoy my "I am a Woman" poem though it seems Gaia is quiet, though I posted them late last night and its in the middle of the week. I might see more interest later on today. Still thinking of good short story ideas and really, really waiting in anticipation for the chance to buy all my supplies and get all these creative ideas in full swing.

And I love my part time job. I get to dress up, work on homework, work on projects, and work with art. It will look so good on my resume and I love the quiet, relaxed atmosphere here. This was a good decision to come work here.I still need to make some calls but I going to be getting out of my other job soon enough. And ******** that manager I had a crush on, just a pox be on him.