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I don't know why i'm going to do this but everything I say will not be edited in any way and is straight from my mind. Like personal notes.



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I see myself as the smartest person i've ever met, seen or heard of. It could be just my ego or a teenager's usual train of thought but I seriously think this. I'm listening to a new band named Peeping Tom and their first song named "Mojo". Absolutely amazing. I'm glad this song is on at the moment but i'm slowly deteriating (sp.) into absolute nothing. I really don't have too much going for me. It's all potiencial. I'm a very smooth talker and the nicest guy you WILL EVER meet. But i'm not great looking. Of course, there's the smart factor. I'm all that but I still have horrible grades. I can tell what people are thinking and all easily. But it doesn't matter because the future takes itself away from me.



I believe I would still be with Alex but I give too many chances. I've been accused of being jealous and all but I have a reason to. This girl has cheated on me before and she flirts like a b***h. I love her like no one could though. I'm thinking of Muse's Our Time is Running Out. Look at the lyrics on the web. After this Summer, i'm starting to realize that there is no way that she will ever be able to be my girlfriend again. As it is with many people, friends are more important than the person you love. Even though I told my friends to back off when we were together, you don't do that at all. I deserve better and I don't understand why I do.



I'm emo as s**t right now. Sure it's almost summer and it's friday so I get a little time off but my mind is just going around in circles almost to the point of saying that if I was dead, that this would all be easier and it would take all the pressure off my back to be the greatest. ********, I wouldn't even say depressed. I would say realist.



I'm trying and trying to think of some song lyrics to put in to finish this journal off on a lighter note. I can't think of any song that describes what i'm feeling right now and realizing this moment.



Nothing.




Nothing.