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Wake up. Heavy weight of despair is apparent in all things: people, objects, nature. Solitude is hitting hard tonight. No willpower left to talk to people. Deep down, it feels like they don't really care. Slept too long, missed hair dresser appointment. Not sure why it felt important. Hair is fine.

Feel like I am at the bottom of a great cavern, deep down. So far down that I can't feel the wind. The wind is so high and I'm so far away from it, its howling is almost silent down here. Feel like I am slowly moving in circles in between shards of glass, too scared to go quickly because of fear of being cut.

World is obviously insane. The world is occupied laughing at white shoes. I don't judge humour but this is too weird, too confusing. Left with questions all the time. Left with disgust towards human mind.

Less scared about dying alone, but it's still a fear. There is a new fear: dying insane. I'm scared of the world but the world is not scared of me. The whole planet is slowly turning into ash and the people are laughing at nonsensical trivialities. The world is crashing and people are crashing with it, driving the crash. Architects of their own bloody end. All insane and concerned only about themselves. They believe they will change the world by conforming to it. It's all insane. We will all die alone in our own bubbles, with no one to leave roses on our graves but the apocalyptic winds of a toxic sky that will push dead flowers onto us. I picture empty city streets full of the dust that corpses create, full of void.
The world is beautiful and wonderful, each life is its own miracle in terms of statistics. But it is being wasted. I am being wasted.

No way out of this box, no way out of it all.
Alone.