A distant memory
a self long forgotten
this familiar feelings of comfort
It's been so long since I've written an entry. It's been so long since I've roleplayed. It's been so long since I've returned to my home, my secret haven. It's so long gaia...
I've frequently visited gaia even before but i guess it just turned me off when I saw the marketplace just boomed in prices! I guess I kind of waiting for it to subside but it didn't. Then a recent event happened when a friend just don't get why I don't want to play dungeons and dragons when it's just the same as roleplaying. But, that game is a game and doesn't have the same spark as a true roleplay. It all depends on the role of a dice and by that I wouldn't really be able to showcase my characters strength and weaknesses. And alas, I checked my gaia one more and just reading through my post, all those feelings just returned. The joy of giving birth to a character and just developing it, imagining the feelings and the internal struggles and just feeling the words just flow out a leaf in a river. Then I saw my journal entry on may 17,2013 about my characters, my daughters and it just brought tears to my eyes.
It has been almost 3 years since the last time I roleplayed.
That reality just dawned on me and its painful. Reminiscing the times that I fell asleep at night thinking what would happen in the story next and excitedly posting in the morning after. Anticipating where my character will take me next. Gosh! I miss that feeling. Such a bittersweet memory.
So how was I these past 3 years? Well college was, as expected, really tough, I guess I have long given up my dream of graduating with 'flying colors' and right now struggling just to pass. I guess, for better or for worse, I've changed in my own way. I became more open to people but still loves to spend time alone. There were plenty, PLENTY of trials that I fought and with perseverance, won. In those trials, my faith in my God grew stronger. I became stronger.
But still, there is still the child in my head that imagines scenarios in my head when I walk home from school. Occasionally, I still play Lessien Elanaise. I am still at awe at the grace and elegance of Kaitlyn Faye. Xandra's shadows is still lurking as I wasn't able to properly develop here and I still admire the gentle heart of Lira.
Right now, I'm still in the middle of my workloads but as the holy week is coming, I assure you that I will roleplay once more. I know. My skills most probably, is getting rough but I know that it's still there and just need sharpening. but the important thing is,
I HAVE RETURNED
and that's all that matters
and that's all that matters
until then
xoxo
Aiumi
nothing beats returning home...
