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Stand-alone and misunderstood... ♪
| Mood: Hopeful | Weather: Windy |
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
OH MAH GAH. WoW!
So its been a while, hasn't it?
If you read this, you are either a friend, a passerby, or someone that I use to know.
Either is endearing.
I started out on Gaia Online when it first launched, probably a year after. And this would be my second account created on Halloween due to boredom. I had that feeling of "Hm maybe I should do Gaia again." And I did.
I met some of my very first best friends on here. I also met many others who carry a special part in my heart.
I went through a lot with various of people on here. Self-Growth is truly a beautiful thing.
To explain, back then? I was a person that cling to anything or anyone that made me feel with purpose. So much so, it was my very toxic trait.
Also, it was hard for me to recognize unhealthy behaviors and mistaken them for "love" "care" when I tolerated certain things. I also became unaware of my own behavior, I was needy, desperate to "fix" things or help people. I wanted to show people that I cared about them. And, I didn't understand, I was too busy trying to need someone, trying to feel mutual depth.
🥀People pleasing was my greatest flaw, I did things for love.
🌹In reality, healthy bonds you would do things because you are loved.
It's okay to love deeply, there are just boundaries with yourself and the ones you will create with others.
You won't always vibe with people, and it doesn't necessarily mean it's your fault.
We are all different personalities, with such complex emotions and thought processes.
🪷We will all gravitate towards people who we are meant to. And it will be natural. To reiterate, you won't have to force connections, these are mutual bonds.
I let go of all the hurt I endured, as well as the pain of feeling not good enough.
I made peace with people and myself. All is well in my heart. If not, I am still good! Such is mental health: I keep it moving, focusing on my ambitions, and enjoy the small things in life that lit a smile on my face. Reflection is important for this aspect of healing the inner me that desires connections.
I have come to appreciate a steadier pace, and a clear mentality.
That isn't to say, I got everything down in my life. It just more or less means, I am more aware, more direct. I have zero tolerance for anything that makes me feel less or doesn't wish to seek reason.
The world is in shambles as it is, why contribute to it?
As far as Gaia goes, I made a lot of good memories on here.
it's been real!
 Seri Dreams · Wed Mar 11, 2020 @ 11:51pm · 0 Comments |
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