Im off a few days, I should be happy but Im not.
Im slightly sick due to working in cool damp weather with my lung issues an a minor infection Im fighting off unrelated to my lung issues. ( Day two of slight bleeding* slowly healing..)
An my mind wont shut-up, it wont let me be blissfully happy Im alive right now with a decent job..no. It reminds me constantly of a lonely future were Ill be alone an will have to fend for myself...I dont want to think about it but it comes back every time along with the knowledge that Im weak, My Father is a b*****d who should have never had a child, my sister should have been instead of me.
An my mind wont shut-up, it wont let me be blissfully happy Im alive right now with a decent job..no. It reminds me constantly of a lonely future were Ill be alone an will have to fend for myself...I dont want to think about it but it comes back every time along with the knowledge that Im weak, My Father is a b*****d who should have never had a child, my sister should have been instead of me.
