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Helena Lilith's Crazy Life
My passion for writing and telling my story will one day become a phenomenon .
Unexpected turns in life
The last couple of months have really been a challenge. It was filled with heartache, loss, fake love, and losing so much at once to the point you feel that you are ready to give up. After trying my best to change my financial situation, leaving a toxic workplace, and trying to change the bad things I was doing, life hit me at all at once. My now ex-bff of 15 years left me and I was left feeling used. I felt that she didnt want to see me unless she could bring other men over. The last thing she told me when I was switching from my toxic workplace, started a new job, but said that I was ready to quit with all my jobs and give up on life was "I think you need to get your head out of your a**"... Then unfriends me and post all over facebook how I am a toxic person. And I felt I read too much private messages and heard enough negativity about me that I wish I never had read or heard. It still hurts me to this day yet I did forgive her. Though she has lost the trust, kindness, and real person I am. Then shortly after that, I lose my first car in a car accident. Though I had some money saved but trying to find a car less than $3,000 that isn't pure s**t is a challenge. Though everything got so heavy. I lost my car and I lost who I thought was my ride or die until her true colors showed. That weight I felt did get unbearable at times on top of dealing with PTSD and anxiety. As I feel nothing is going right, I found a 2009 Ford Crown Victoria with 139k miles for $2,700. It is an ex military vehicle yet I'm so grateful for a car. Then when she leaves out my life, someone from the past came back into my life. And when she needed help, I helped her as much as I could. Whenever life doesnt feel like it's going right, something or someone from the left will help out and help you feel human again. But everything is soooooooo much better now. I'm making really great money with my job I got and am very financially stable. I feel so much happier that I know I am a better person and I am NOT my old ways. I am a human being that makes mistakes yet too many people remember my face as a person of kindness, compassion, and a positive personality that when I walk in any room, positive vibes radiate to everyone. I learned that if one person thinks you are a terrible person, their perspective of you they created in their mind is not your responsibility.

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