I've got a lot on my mind lately, and being among thousands of people did exactly the opposite of what I'd hope it would do. I also learned yet again to not put my faith in certain people. Well, whatever happened was not their fault, if they were being honest with me that is. Eh, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. So yeah, I've got egg on my face and it feels niiice.
It'll pass. I just have to find my own mode of transportation to expo tomorrow morning.
But yes, my mind is at the brink of exploding. A lot of things are changing, and I have to welcome it. My job position will soon change as well as my status in college once again. I've taken far worse things in stride, so why do I feel so nervous when it comes to far simpler things?
Neh, I'm still struggling to cope with things beyond my control - biting my tongue whenever the urge comes to talk about it. I feel bad when I rant now, so I need to keep certain feelings to myself, that or hire a shrink to listen to me. Maybe I need a professional to talk to. A lot of my current problems are stemming from past events that are hard to really pinpoint. I would just love someone to listen to me, in its entirety and hopefully give me some sort of guidance. I have a full arsenal of advice for myself - mainly that of up the shut ******** and go to hell and die; however, I highly doubt my friends would like me saying such things about myself.
I just hate this feeling of emptyness.
Hell, it followed me to expo. Expo heals all wounds.
It didn't heal the big one. D:
Maybe tomorrow morning shall tell.
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Have fun with the expo, hope it helps.