have you seen how hard my eyes struggle to hold back the tears? you'd have thought they'd get better, since fighting them has become a daily accurance. have you noticed, that when i cry, my lungs refuse to breath. in an effort to help my eyes hide their struggle. and how when the tears streak down my face, they fall slowly. never too quickly for me to wipe them away unnoticed. have you realized that when i let go, when i open my mouth to speak... i gag on the air, and the tears seem to run, to try to hide under my chin: they don't want to bewiped away.... so they can see what's to happen.
i'm not allowed to cry. so i won't look you in the eye. i hide my face in your shoulder or in a pillow. the words won't leave my throat, so i hold it in. i'm loosing myself, have no reason to hold up my chin. but i'm not allowed to cry. and i may not know what i want, but i'm well aware of what i need. but even you won't help me leave...
=Cat Nip Suicide= Community Member 
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Community Member