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Hmmm... Frustration concerning my education and some moderation. Is there no salvation?
I'd complain more about being treated like a "third-pick" student, but in all reality I am, since I live out-of-district for the school I want to go to. D: I don't think that's fair, but I have to remember that because of where I live schools are allowed to discriminate against me. That is, they can kick me out at any one time for no reason at all.
But I've talked it over with my parents, and they're upset as well that I can't take any art classes next year. They're willing to pay for me to take PE over the summer for the off chance that I can get into the 2-semester art class. I don't want to do that, though. I'd rather do something else with my summer and not risk having to take two unwanted classes. But mum's being proactive and is trying to find a good art class for me to take over the summer. ^__^ One that *isn't* for ages 10 and down. Once I have the experience with the basics, I can move on to classes more my level.
Also, I've talked with my friend who's going to the same school and signed up for an art class, to find that she's made it in alright. So because of where I live, I'm not allowed to take that class. -__-; I'm going to e-mail another friend who's class schedule is usually the same as mine and find out if she's had any trouble with classes as well. If she hasn't, well... Then I'll know.
So I've been considering quitting being a Moderator for Magivolve. I mean, I love Magivolve, and I really want to help it grow, even if it means doing the dirty work of keeping it clean. But this past week I've been losing sleep because of Magi, and I've gotten into fights with a couple other moderators. It's not that I've been looking for trouble, it's more that there are some conflicts I've put myself in the middle of.
I went into these conflicts thinking I'd at least keep... not angry? I can't think of a word for it. Calm, for sure, cool but still stern... Not the one that attacks first, but not constantly defending. Neutral seems like it, but I have chosen a side...
Whatever. I thought I'd at least keep my cool and try to keep myself out of a situation where I was at fault for starting a fight.
I tried not to be insulting or overly offensive, but that can be hard to do when you're in a fight with someone. o__o So I'd type out an insult, but word it so it isn't blatantly offensive. Then I'd elaborate on it, so it was an actual part of the discussion.
For example... it was mentioned that the more proper (I can't remember his wording) users didn't seem to mind him, just the Social scum. My response to that bit was that he should stop associating himself with the social scum, and then they wouldn't mind him. D: Not incredibly rude, but you catch my drift. Though, I went on to say that it was needed for him to associate himself with them, as that's the only way a moderator can take care of them...
Bah, that's not even what I wanted to talk about. I was trying to keep myself from striking first, and not being the reason a fight started. But then, looking back at some pasts posts in the break in a fight, I noticed my first posts were pretty sour, and with no provocation. That kinda... broke me. I just dropped what I was doing, and decided I wasn't going to do this anymore. I'm just going to hold my tongue every time a fight breaks out, and not be apart of it. I got really depressed, because I hold myself in high regards for not being stupidly mean like that. If I'm going to turn into something I'm not, over petty fights like that, I didn't want to be any part of it, and the best way to keep myself out of it is to make it so I can't even be there. Just stop being a moderator, and I won't even be able to see the fights.
I'm still very depressed about that, and upset that I did something like that. It wasn't even something big, or even that out of line, but it's enough for me.
These fights have been pretty terrible, though. That's enough to make anyone want to quit. It's resulted in the same moderator being banned, twice, by two different moderators at two different times. And two important, donating users to quit. When the Admins see just how disfunctional us moderators are, I'm certain some of us are going to be de-modded, and the privalage of being able to ban users without having to request it taken away.
Another moderator told me I was the last sensible global mod. gonk Try as I might, I can't help but think he was only saying that to get me to help him out.
Yipe. Long entry.
 Leamony · Thu Jul 06, 2006 @ 07:35am · 1 Comments |
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