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I sometimes wonder what is the point in trying to be sincere,good and trying to do the right thing......everyday where i live, no one cares about courtesy, they just look at you like you're ******** crazy for trying to be nice. I try to think of how others would feel if i treated them a certain way but no one else does, i'm looked or ignored at because i'm different, because i act a certain way and i wonder what is the point in trying to love thy enemy if you have no allys to back you up, whats the point in doing what is right if no one else has your back and if they do agree with you they don't have the courage to back you up......i try to be a good person but it gets me nowhere and i curse God everyday trying to figure out why nothing works out and why no matter how hard i try everything seems to fall apart, no matter if i try to be good or not it falls apart, family,friends,relationships,dreams, all of it falls apart no matter how hard i try to do what is right and so i feel i just have to give in and be as hateful and destructive and judging as everyone else ,but i don't want to be...living in ignorance isn't an easy thing to go back to, i'm not saying i am smarter than anyone else, i'm just saying i think differently and it tears me apart that no one understands....no body has a concept of honor here where i live, i hate that i even question myself and my faith but unfortunatly i have no other choice, it seems like everyone sells a part of themselves to be happy and i don't want to i don't want to change a damn thing except the misery inside myself, but it's that misery that makes me realize how others don't want to be treated and makes me realize what compassion is when others don't....so what do i do?
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