Warning: If you have problems with suicide and thoughts of murder, do not read any further. Espicially you, Renee and Brittnie. I dont want you worrying about me.
Why? Why does the world torture my forsaken soul stuck in this hell hole they call earth? What is so horrible that I have done that I would be forsaken to a life of hell? Is it beacause I hate myself? My family? Is it because I want to kill? Or that I have a urging thurst for revenge? Is it because I hurt myself? Or is it that I can cause hurt? Why, why does the world, the gods, why is it all so cruel? Is it my fault that Josh died?! Is it my fault that the world is coming to an end? Is it my fault that every little mistake I make brings the death of some one closer? Am I the angel of death? Or the Goddess of Chaos? What is it that you wish for me, my lords! Anubis, god of Death, am I your angel? Or am I to work for the side of the good, causing pain instead of joy?! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME?! Please! This madness! Make it go away! I cant stand the pain I put others through! It drives me insane! The tears and blood, why mut it be shed?! AM I THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS PAIN?! I scream and cry, I beg, I sacrifice, I deal with the pain. What doesnt kill me makes me stronger? Heh, that may be true, but its not for me. Its for my powers of distruction! Please! Some one save me! Being lost in the darkness, thinking of that day... Was it me? Did I kill him? I remember that day I said, "I bet its a kid from my school..." WHY?! WHY DO I CAUSE SUCH PAIN?!?!?!?!? Please, someone relive me from the demon that resides in the darkness of my heart! Everyone can see the darkness, but why? Why dont you stop it?! Please!!!!! I dont want to be the bearer of death! Someone, wake me from this nightmare!
What is that I have to do?! Do I have to kill myself? Do I have to sacrifice? My death is my only option! Being screamed at, " ITS YOUR FAULT!" "I HATE YOU!", Please, make it stop... The screaming voices in my head, please, send them away...
I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANY MORE!!!!
View User's Journal
Alone again.
 |
User Comments: [3] [add]
|
Sit Back And Paint Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
ixidor87
Community Member 
|
|
|||||||||||||||
User Comments: [3] [add]
Community Member
I don't know the specifics, but I'll be glad to help a friend. You cannot blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. ALL of the people in the world cause problems not just you. As you probably know, music is a passion of mine, and I'd like you to take heart to this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anlls_W67nI&search=hold on good charlotte
Hold on, Ashley, hold on. I hope this helped.