I've noticed that there are a lot of threads on suicide. Most of the people who post are teens with too much angst. Some of the people seem to think suicide is selfish. This really pisses me off.
Imagine you have clinical depression, but you don't know it. You go through everyday walking in a daze. You feel the need to cry, scream, break things or hurt yourself, but nothing actually sets it off. It's like someone's in your head flicking a switch on and off.
I've been like that since I was 14 years old. My mother thought it was just my hormones. I tried to tell her I wasn't feeling like I should, but she said I just had to deal with it. It was later when I was taken to a therapist, that I found out I had clinical depression. The chemicals in my brain were all messed up. They put me on meds, which I've been taking on anf off since then. Sometimes I'd feel like I'm on top of the world. Other days I just want to end everything. I have no control over this.
There are millions of people all over the world with this exact same problem.
Sometimes you'll get little teenage girls who say they're depressed because their 'boyfriend' dumped them. Sure they're going to be sad about it, but that's not depression.
Another thing that irks me is when people cut to look 'cool'. It also pissed me off when people say all goths cut. I'm gothic. Not one of those Maralyn Manson-Spookykid dumbasses, but an actual goth. I do cut, but it's not as often as I used too. I do it because that's the only way I can let the pain out. Yes, it hurts, but that's the desired affect. I'd rather feel physical pain than the emotional pain I feel inside. Before I cut I write, draw, punch things, talk to my best friend or my boyfriend before I try cutting. It's always a last resort for me.
I think people with depression would have better access to treatment if all the little 'depressed' teens would stop seeking attention. They just need to get over themselves and realise that people live with depression every day of their lives.
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Temporary Insanity
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