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Okay, so I started to write this story right? Based it off of an RP I am doing. The RP is noted on the first page. Anyway, so I'm going to post the first chapter, 0. Please critique!

0. The Approach
It’d been a while since I had been with a woman. Well, seriously been with a woman. There are the one night stands, and other things that thrill a vampire, but eventually, I grew picky, and no one was really good enough anymore. I would never touch a man, but the women seemed to rot. Losing all values and morals, they were kind of like empty shells, trying to be aesthetically pleasing, but failing. I found them repulsive, or managed to.
One night, I was at a park. It was relatively chilly out, the middle of fall. I was sitting on a bench, reading a book. I had taken to reading, since my lust for physical interaction had begun to fade. The bench faced the park. In the park, there were swings, slides, among other typical child things.
I heard a noise, and looked up, as much as I wanted to continue to read. The streetlight had made it easy for me to read outdoors, and I liked to take advantage of that. It was late, and I was not used to seeing people in the parks. It was a girl, or a woman. I could not really tell from that distance, and she had a large coat on. All I could make out, was that it was, in fact a woman. She was on the swings, and every time she came down, her long blonde hair fluttered behind her. She had a skirt on, I could tell, because I could see her legs. They were much too long to be that of a child, so I decided to watch more. I thought it unusual that a woman, full grown, would come to a park and swing. Wouldn’t she have better things to do? Like get home to her husband, boyfriend, or children? I remember frowning at this. It had always been easy to approach a woman who acted like a woman, but one that acted like a child? I had never attempted.
I set my book on the bench. I had read it before, so I didn’t really care what happened to it. And, as I approached her, I felt the need to grab her attention before arriving at her. “Hey, blondie.” I said, being out of practice, I realize now that I may have come off as rude. But she looked up, and that was the reaction I wanted. She noticed me, so I approached her more quickly, stepping over the crunching leaves, almost with no sound. I couldn’t make out her face, the streetlight was so distant, but I did hear her make an undignified sound.
She seemed to spit out her greeting like it was disgusting. “Who are you?” She asked, slightly emphasizing the ‘you’ to magnify the level of unimportance I had to her. I shrugged it off, and grabbed the swing chain, stopping her swing from movement. She held on well for a human. This close, I could see her face. She had large, innocent light brown, almost honey-colored eyes, and a mouth that looked like it smiled a lot. Her face was proportionate, and even on all sides. Good complexion and fair skin.
“Isn’t it proper for you to tell me who you are?” I asked, more testing her tradition, than anything else. She made a second angry grunt, and then crossed her arms, clearly deciding to not say anything until I answered her question. I let out a sigh, and then said, “Even though you are rude and traditionally incorrect, my name is Adrian Corner.” I remember smiling with a hint of bitterness at this, before I continued. “Now, miss, what is your name?” Potentially sounding sarcastic, I did not really care for the mannerisms behind my question. She had no reason to tell me her name, so I was ready to ‘convince’ her.
She gave me a slight grimace, but then said, “If I wanted to introduce myself to you, I would have walked up to you.” And after that, she slid off of the swing, of which I was still holding the chain, and walked away. I did not feel like following anyone that night, but I did anyway. I decided I try and re-strike conversation. I thought, that if I could charm her without using my abilities as a vampire, then I wouldn’t be considered forcing her into anything she might regret at a later time.
“How old are you? You look too old to have been swinging.” I said, eager to tap into something. I knew that her mind was interesting; I just could not place it without reading it.
She gave me another disgusted look and said, “No one’s too old to go to a playground.”
And that’s when I saw it. She let me in. I whispered my apologies, and she gave me a sympathetic sort of look. One of mixed sorrow, pity, and stubbornness. She didn’t want to let me in, but that moment, when she pitied me, I broke her down. “What is your name?” I asked, still in a soft whisper, just behind her neck.
By her profile, I could see her fighting with herself, and a grin spread across my face. I hid it quickly, but the fact that I could still break down a seemingly strong woman, made me gleeful in the most wicked sense. She glanced at me, sideways, I could see her fight.
A feeble battle. “Elizabeth Portay.” She answered. She then looked away. I was in, no need to win her over anymore.

See? Not too long! Just right, I'd say. I'm a fan of short chapters....

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