gettting to this point feels strange.
i'm at this undefinable point in life where everything is accumulating for me to scoop up and piece together. unabashed likes from when i was a teenager are now ardent interests, dreams that have died out are slowly being reignited. sparks of interest in my authentic self feels like I've never lived an adult life as myself.
Without the constraints or expectations or parameters to hold myself to aside from being successful just as myself.
I keep on trying to bring an existence into my life that will just sustain me as a person. find a way to propel and motivate myself through life. And I'm convinced that a combination work, belief, faith, trust, and pixie dust, and maybe speaking it a little into existence, that I'll be able to figure out making a life for myself I am not only proud of, but will sustain a comfortable life style for myself and enough for me to care for my mother in comfort for the rest of her days.
Since pop died, everything has changed.
and all i long for, aside from one more conversation, is a life where we no longer have to worry. a life that will provide me the space to finance my art and just live peacefully in my own space.
Gaia is an outlet for certain, and while I'm not looking for anyone to read through my journals, this is just a space for me to indulge in my old space and reflect and express in whatever way i feel inspired to do so.
while I'm unsure of what this will look like in the future, in this moment, it is hands down cathartic to just start and don't look back.
So i'm unsure what my journalling will look like from here out, but winging it has always kind of been my vibe. So I'll keep rolling in that direction.
View User's Journal
WOOT
 |
