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So.. Today. I had my heart ripped out, and stomped on. And I can't feel any lower. I've been in love with this man for three freaking years. And he ends it in a heart beat. He ends it by finding someone else who is aparently better then I am. And gives her the attention I have ALWAYS wanted. And he has nothing to say to me. His reason for leaving me? He had to wait too long for me to come back. DOES HE REALIZE THAT I'VE WAITED MONTHS UPON MONTHS FOR HIM!? I would've waited my whole life, if I knew he'd come back for me. But no... He had to wait a whole two weeks. Then find a new girl.

No one knows how I feel. And don't say you do. It makes me SO mad when someone says that. NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE knows how I feel right now. Broken.Alone.. Lost. I'm on the verge of going insane because of one love hungry jerk. And... I'm the girl in the back, who no one notices. No one cares about. No one see's. I'm heart broken. H-E-A-R-T B-R-O-K-E-N. I'm Shattered. I've been ripped apart. I've been spit on. I've been disrespected. And no one cares, Becaue I'm the girl in the distance that blends in with the scenery.

And the worst thing is I still love him. But now he has another girl who I guess treats him better then I did. Because I'm not worth anything. I'm lower then dirt. I'm the worst person on this freaking planet. But that won't be for long. Who says I have to stay here?

Taking this too far? No way. You'll never know how I feel right now. Because the one guy who made my life a heaven, turned it into hell..

And my best friend. The person who helps me through everything isn't here right now. I've known her since the 4th grade... And we have never fought once. But someone who saw us wouldn't know that, because we argue about the dumbest things. We end our phone conversations with "I love you" But we NEVER hug. We both agree that it seems too.....Akward. I want her back so badly. I miss you more then anything Arlene.

Currently. I'm wanting my "Bubby" My friend. He's someone who I love because he just has that wonderful nature. And I've only known him for a short while now... But I trust him with so much. And he's like. So awesome... I need him right now too.. It's hard to explain the relationship we have. I told my friend "A Brother with benifits" But... He's like my best friend I can hang onto. He always gives me that little burst of love when I'm feeling down.

I've hit rock bottom. My step dad has been hospital. And he has MAJOR heart problems. And I found out not only is he bleeding internally [And they can't find where] but he could've had caner, AND he'll need a heart transplant. So I've been home alone while my mom [My HERO] is gone. I hear things. I see things. And I'm alone. Arlene was at her house, luckily, and I had the guts to call her up, crying. I asked her: "Arlene....How do you get saved?" Because I realized. Life is way too short. And I've been going through these weird emotional rollercoasters.. I need to start getting ready for the end. [Which is very very close]

So after today...I've realized. Love is something that isn't worth getting into. Because you can't trust all of the people.

But to my friends. THANK YOU. I had this guy tell me "Girl, you're so beautiful, and you have a personality of the angels. I would die to be with you."

Another dear friend said: "I have to go now... But if you still need me. I'll stay here with you..Forever.."

Someone else told me, "Its only temporary.... Cassie... the greatest thing about you is you can fall and feel like youre nothing but its the remarkable recovery you make that makes you my hero.... You are my hero Cassie and if there was one person in this world I could be it would be you...I mean that Cassie... I really do... you are my hero and Im here for you whenever you need it...I really am here for you... I would give my life up to save yours in a heart beat if I ever get the option....I Love you Cassie... And you are above all... dont let anyone make you feel less of yourself... You truly are greatness..."

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