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~MY~DIARY~DONT~READ~ME~PLEASE~NEVER~READ~ME~YOU'LL~NEVER~UNDERSTAND~
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I just need some one to be here with me and tell me everythings ok.
I mean I've heard it but I dont belive it.
Why can't I just be normal and happy?
I'm strange and looked down on I try so hard to fit in and make myself look normal but
I'm just playing games.
The real me would be hidding in some dark corner crying till her death.
But I hide it and try and keep it locked up like a demon inside me that wount go away.
Why cant I just be a happy go lucky person who makes the best of life?
Why do I have to be so unhappy?
Why me?
Why me?
I never did anything to desevrive to be so unhappy.
My heart hurts my visons blurred and i cant feel anything anymore.
I just want to feel that feeling that loved and cared for felling.
Why cant i feel WHY!!!!!!!!
I just want to be wanted and need by someone.
Some one who will worship the very ground i walk on.
Some one who will treat me like a goddess.
Why cant i find that happyness that I long for?
Like when i cut myself.
I just wanted to feel nothiced.
Like some one could see and hear me.
It's like I'm not here like I'm a ghost.
What if I am.
What life do I have.
I'm not sure if I exsist anymore.
I just want to be put out of this misury
I dont want to be here anymore.
I want to die.
I want it to be gone.
The tears locked behind my blue eyes i want them to get away.
The burning in my heart for all the times I've been turned down.
The ice running throught my vains causeing my shear coldness.
The cloudyness in my eyes that makes me look in a foggy daze.
The soul in my body wants to be free from this world.
I just wanna be free.
free......................
Dosen't sound like much but it means the world to me.
It seems like it would be a better world if I was gone.
I alwas drag people down with me.
Makeing their life hard and unbearable.
Why do you think everyone leaves me.
My mother my friends my dad his girl friend.
Everyone.
I feel hated and unwanted.
I dont want to be abbonen anymore.
Nothing can make me happy anymore.
I'm never going to be happy ever again.
Never.
Never ever.
Alone forever is my fate.
Why me?
Why me?
I'm going to smile like everthings ok.
But it's not.
I'm only acting nice so I can be happy.
Happy................
What is the happyness you speak of?
It's the feeling of warmth of a feeling that makes you feel good.
I still dont understand.
linken park and pink and green day.
Green pink dark purple black.
My little teddy bear with missing eyes and a black heart sowen on the front.
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TEDDY BEAR
Teddy bear oh how I long to be you so.
Teaddy Bear Teddy Bear no feelings of pain or joy.
Teddy Bear Teddy Bear you are the one that makes me feel like me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want run away from all the pain and tourcher I've felt.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
To feel like this everyday.
To be pushed away and ran away from.
I'm haveing trouble understanding my self.
Oh the needed feeling I've longed for.
I just want to feel like I'm wanted and am thought about every waking second by him.
But no I'm never going to find him.
People say they try and get close with me but I push them away.
Are you sure it's no you who is doing all the pushing?
Are you keeping me away thinking I'm so strange dissease that will poisen your water?
They say I'm scared of everyone.
But it is them who is scared of me.
They dont take time to get to know me.
They just look at me and hate me.
Why do you hate me?
I never did anything to you but like you.
Stabb me please?
Why not be that happy go lucky girl?
Cause I would be lieing to myself.
I dont wanna lie to myself anymore.
I'm so sick of hearing lies and being used.
I'M SO SICK!!!!!!!!!!
Sick of being treated this way.
Sick of being pushes down and thrown around.
Sick of being alone.
Sick of being sick.......................
Do you hate me?
Do you want me dead?
Tell me truthfully.
Tell me.
Don't lie to me.
In a sick way I wanna thank you for hateing me.
It makes me stronger.
It may hurt but in the long run it will hurt even more when I get you back.
MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!
Hate me anyway.
I dont care anymore.
I dont care.
I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Just leave me be let me cry and die in peace.
Just let me be.
Mariss Mae Ellenwood
-----------------------
M for murder
A for assasin
R for reble
I for iratable
S for sad
S for soundly
A for apacalips
M for masked
A for a**
E for envious
E for everyone
L for loveless
L for lost
E for evil
N for not wanted
W for worthless
O for oppisite
O for oblige
D for DEAD
---------------------------
Is that really how you feel?
It is that is who I am why do you ask?
I'm just woundering thats all.
Why do you worry?
Because I am you and you are me.
Your just the person that lives inside me your like the other me.
And you are the other me.
Why must I have to people inside me not just one but two.
I just wanna be me.
But you are you.
No I'm not. I'm everything I hate.
Don't say that.
Just get out of my head.GET OUT!!!!!! Everyone dissapointed in me. They can't stand me.
Yes they can you just don't let them.
Yes I do but they push me away.
No they dont you jus t think they do.
They do they do they do they never wanna see me I'm a dissgrace to them.
No your not your a good person they just don't understand you.
And I dont understand me.
You do your just listening close enough.
Yes I am.I'm listening close enough.
Why don't you listen to me?
Because you are me!
I am but dont you understand?
No I don't understand aything anymore.
Well try harder to understand look in your heart and you will understand.
No I wount I have no heart to look into.Sure I make act so happy like everthings ok but it's not it's just not anymore.
I know. I know.
DONT SAY YOU KNOW! YOU DONT!
Yes I do cause I'm you and you are me.
No your not your not your not your not!!!!!!! Stop telling me that stop stop stop!!!
~hate me today hate me tommorow the me for all the things I didn't do for you.~
Song:Hate Me Artist:Blue October
Green is my favorit color.
Greeeeeeeeen
I wanna be a vampire not a ballerina
I'm worthless and I hate myself.
Robert is comeing home soon.
I'm not sure what he's going to be like.
I really am going to miss him when he leave to that hell of a place he has to go.
Ugh my knee is killing me. It hurts sooooooooooooooooooo bad.
I'm so alone.
I love my teddy bear.
Are you dreaming of me?
Do you all was think of me?
Do you love me?
Do you?
Will you die if I die?
Would you kill if I was killed?
Would you?
~MY~DIARY~DONT~READ~ME~PLEASE~NEVER~READ~ME~YOU'LL~NEVER~UNDERSTAND~
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just need some one to be here with me and tell me everythings ok.
I mean I've heard it but I dont belive it.
Why can't I just be normal and happy?
I'm strange and looked down on I try so hard to fit in and make myself look normal but
I'm just playing games.
The real me would be hidding in some dark corner crying till her death.
But I hide it and try and keep it locked up like a demon inside me that wount go away.
Why cant I just be a happy go lucky person who makes the best of life?
Why do I have to be so unhappy?
Why me?
Why me?
I never did anything to desevrive to be so unhappy.
My heart hurts my visons blurred and i cant feel anything anymore.
I just want to feel that feeling that loved and cared for felling.
Why cant i feel WHY!!!!!!!!
I just want to be wanted and need by someone.
Some one who will worship the very ground i walk on.
Some one who will treat me like a goddess.
Why cant i find that happyness that I long for?
Like when i cut myself.
I just wanted to feel nothiced.
Like some one could see and hear me.
It's like I'm not here like I'm a ghost.
What if I am.
What life do I have.
I'm not sure if I exsist anymore.
I just want to be put out of this misury
I dont want to be here anymore.
I want to die.
I want it to be gone.
The tears locked behind my blue eyes i want them to get away.
The burning in my heart for all the times I've been turned down.
The ice running throught my vains causeing my shear coldness.
The cloudyness in my eyes that makes me look in a foggy daze.
The soul in my body wants to be free from this world.
I just wanna be free.
free......................
Dosen't sound like much but it means the world to me.
It seems like it would be a better world if I was gone.
I alwas drag people down with me.
Makeing their life hard and unbearable.
Why do you think everyone leaves me.
My mother my friends my dad his girl friend.
Everyone.
I feel hated and unwanted.
I dont want to be abbonen anymore.
Nothing can make me happy anymore.
I'm never going to be happy ever again.
Never.
Never ever.
Alone forever is my fate.
Why me?
Why me?
I'm going to smile like everthings ok.
But it's not.
I'm only acting nice so I can be happy.
Happy................
What is the happyness you speak of?
It's the feeling of warmth of a feeling that makes you feel good.
I still dont understand.
linken park and pink and green day.
Green pink dark purple black.
My little teddy bear with missing eyes and a black heart sowen on the front.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TEDDY BEAR
Teddy bear oh how I long to be you so.
Teaddy Bear Teddy Bear no feelings of pain or joy.
Teddy Bear Teddy Bear you are the one that makes me feel like me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want run away from all the pain and tourcher I've felt.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
To feel like this everyday.
To be pushed away and ran away from.
I'm haveing trouble understanding my self.
Oh the needed feeling I've longed for.
I just want to feel like I'm wanted and am thought about every waking second by him.
But no I'm never going to find him.
People say they try and get close with me but I push them away.
Are you sure it's no you who is doing all the pushing?
Are you keeping me away thinking I'm so strange dissease that will poisen your water?
They say I'm scared of everyone.
But it is them who is scared of me.
They dont take time to get to know me.
They just look at me and hate me.
Why do you hate me?
I never did anything to you but like you.
Stabb me please?
Why not be that happy go lucky girl?
Cause I would be lieing to myself.
I dont wanna lie to myself anymore.
I'm so sick of hearing lies and being used.
I'M SO SICK!!!!!!!!!!
Sick of being treated this way.
Sick of being pushes down and thrown around.
Sick of being alone.
Sick of being sick.......................
Do you hate me?
Do you want me dead?
Tell me truthfully.
Tell me.
Don't lie to me.
In a sick way I wanna thank you for hateing me.
It makes me stronger.
It may hurt but in the long run it will hurt even more when I get you back.
MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!
Hate me anyway.
I dont care anymore.
I dont care.
I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Just leave me be let me cry and die in peace.
Just let me be.
Mariss Mae Ellenwood
-----------------------
M for murder
A for assasin
R for reble
I for iratable
S for sad
S for soundly
A for apacalips
M for masked
A for a**
E for envious
E for everyone
L for loveless
L for lost
E for evil
N for not wanted
W for worthless
O for oppisite
O for oblige
D for DEAD
---------------------------
Is that really how you feel?
It is that is who I am why do you ask?
I'm just woundering thats all.
Why do you worry?
Because I am you and you are me.
Your just the person that lives inside me your like the other me.
And you are the other me.
Why must I have to people inside me not just one but two.
I just wanna be me.
But you are you.
No I'm not. I'm everything I hate.
Don't say that.
Just get out of my head.GET OUT!!!!!! Everyone dissapointed in me. They can't stand me.
Yes they can you just don't let them.
Yes I do but they push me away.
No they dont you jus t think they do.
They do they do they do they never wanna see me I'm a dissgrace to them.
No your not your a good person they just don't understand you.
And I dont understand me.
You do your just listening close enough.
Yes I am.I'm listening close enough.
Why don't you listen to me?
Because you are me!
I am but dont you understand?
No I don't understand aything anymore.
Well try harder to understand look in your heart and you will understand.
No I wount I have no heart to look into.Sure I make act so happy like everthings ok but it's not it's just not anymore.
I know. I know.
DONT SAY YOU KNOW! YOU DONT!
Yes I do cause I'm you and you are me.
No your not your not your not your not!!!!!!! Stop telling me that stop stop stop!!!
~hate me today hate me tommorow the me for all the things I didn't do for you.~
Song:Hate Me Artist:Blue October
Green is my favorit color.
Greeeeeeeeen
I wanna be a vampire not a ballerina
I'm worthless and I hate myself.
Robert is comeing home soon.
I'm not sure what he's going to be like.
I really am going to miss him when he leave to that hell of a place he has to go.
Ugh my knee is killing me. It hurts sooooooooooooooooooo bad.
I'm so alone.
I love my teddy bear.
Are you dreaming of me?
Do you all was think of me?
Do you love me?
Do you?
Will you die if I die?
Would you kill if I was killed?
Would you?
Community Member