I have to go to two parties tomorrow, but I’m only going to one. The reason why is because of Cody. (If Jake or Samantha or Neek or anyone I know in real life is reading this it's Neek’s bf Cody, yeah the one with the HOT stash thingy and is like 15 or so) I really like him, but he likes Neek a lot but Neek likes matt who likes me and her and well she thinks that she made a bad mistake going with Cody and she now wants to go with matt, i know how it is. She thinks she really likes matt because he makes her laugh, I know i was that way with Jake (>< I know I know what you are thinking people I know in real life. Shut up) but I soon realized that well you will feel real bad going with that person. Your relationship will become dull and you will soon lose what you saw in that person. Well anyways back on topic. I am really getting pissed at Neek for doing this to Cody because he really likes her. I think he thinks I'm really annoying, or funny. I dunno. But he said that the party wouldn't be fun unless I go, he said he really wants me to go. I don't know if I should look into this or not, maybe he likes me. But who knows. Well I’m going out with this guy I don't really like. Only because i thought I did. Or because I wanted to have someone, I dunno. But I want to dump him because I just think I don't want to have someone right now. Only because I want to be free if Cody wants to go with me. And the fact is, I don't want to be with someone just because of some lame bet. Yeah for those who don't know Mitch and mike made a bet about me, saying that if I ask out mike he gets $10 but if I ask him and then dump him Mitch gets $10 that’s all I know about it. Well I’m taking you back a bit..... Before I started to go out with Mike Mitch kept pushing me to ask him out and then dump him, but I'm not like that. I can't do that. I don't know why I just can't. And I think Mitch doing that made me think it would be cool to go with mike or something like that. I dunno. And even before that I liked Cody. Ok back up to time......But the thing is, I’m not one of those dumb people who try and break people up just because I like one of them. The truth is in a way I'm happy Neek is going with him because this is her first boyfriend. And I think it's good that she is going with him, because she was lucky. She got a great boyfriend. But then I'm sooooo jealous because he is so great. I just feel like crying. BUT then there is Frank, my one true love, I've loved him ever since 3rd grade. That was the year I met him. He is sooooo great not only is he good looking, but he is also a great friend. I can tell him anything!! But sometimes I don't want to. A lot of the time I just want to go and hug him and tell him I love you. The sad thing is, he has a !!******** UP!! Girlfriend! I hate her so much! She treats him like crap! And GOD there is just too many reasons that I hate her so I’ll put it like this: she should die a horrible death and rot in hell for all she done. The truth is I would give anything to see him smile. He is my reason of living, and his smile is what keeps me going. I would die for him, and I wouldn't have a second thought. So seeing him going with her is killing me!!! But if he is happy then I will I’ve, but not a happy life. Just as long as I can see him then I will be ok, I hope. I just want him to smile a lot and not be depressed anymore. I changed myself to be gothic for him. So he would stay talking to me, and I could hang with him more, maybe get closer to him. Because he didn't really like that i was talking all the time and smiling all the time before. But the funny thing is that I still talk a lot and smile but it's MUCH different now. And the truth is I like the change. I'm not gothic I'm punk; yeah ha ha ha I know it may seem lame but the truth is I don't care. But I just want him to like me. But if he doesn’t.....that was meant to be.
Oh but it seemed after I asked out Mike Frank got all depressed in health class. I don't know if it was because he found out I asked out mike or not, but to ME it seems like it. Because he didn't laugh like he used to, he didn't mess up my hair or sit on me or even sit on the couch. He didn't joke around with me or anything!! And then right after in math when I was trying to get his comb and joke around like always he said "you have a boyfriend now....I don't roll that way" WHAT THE ******** IS THAT SAPOSE TO MEAN!!!!??????!?!?!?!?!!!!!! Well I'm just really confused!! I don't know what to do.
OH and another reason I’m going to break up with mike is because I want frank to know I don't really like him that much and I feel bad because he really likes me.
And another thing, I’m really trying to make Cody like me, but at the same time that’s what I’m trying to make frank like me.
So what am I to do???
Oh but it seemed after I asked out Mike Frank got all depressed in health class. I don't know if it was because he found out I asked out mike or not, but to ME it seems like it. Because he didn't laugh like he used to, he didn't mess up my hair or sit on me or even sit on the couch. He didn't joke around with me or anything!! And then right after in math when I was trying to get his comb and joke around like always he said "you have a boyfriend now....I don't roll that way" WHAT THE ******** IS THAT SAPOSE TO MEAN!!!!??????!?!?!?!?!!!!!! Well I'm just really confused!! I don't know what to do.
OH and another reason I’m going to break up with mike is because I want frank to know I don't really like him that much and I feel bad because he really likes me.
And another thing, I’m really trying to make Cody like me, but at the same time that’s what I’m trying to make frank like me.
So what am I to do???
