Hey people I'm not sure you'll want to read this but here it is. Vacation was alright, it went by way to quick. I like being alone these days it makes me feel better, my Family seems to hate me. stare They just had to make fun too. Oh well, I did get my sand creation done, I suppose it didn't look half bad, everyone seem to like it. A lady even told me I should enter one of those contest. The ocean was nice to be at, it makes me happy and calm. smile I like building things and watching them wash away. I then plan things that will take longer to wash away. Sounds Silly I suppose but I like it. I even went and read a book out on the deck now that was nice. Well exept for the sunburn. I suppose I really enjoyed vacation, just there were some small mishaps. For one me and Hannah had some squabbles. I get jealous too quick and mad too fast. No one seems to understand what it's like for me to have no freinds where I live. But I am happy when that reminds me how if she had one wish for me she would wish I had friends, that does make me happy. Then there is the fact I didn't get to talk to her, I sometimes wonder if she really misses me. But for now I believe her. Sometimes though I feel stupid when I talk to her, but not cause of her fault but cause I say something stupid, or read something wrong or take something the wrong way. I sometimes wonder how dumb she must think I am. Oh well, I love her. I hate when my family brings up careers for me, I'm just not good at anything, I don't think I'll ever be anyone. Oh well it's a nice dream though owning a beachhouse. cool Oh and one more thing, I am now hooked on FullHouse, it's a great show.
I came back and well Hannah got her ears peirced. Yeah it shouldn't be a big deal to me but it is. I put up a big fight but it did no good. I have figured out my opinion matters to no one. No one ever backs me up, not even God. Hannah wants me to try and like them, well I guess don't got a choice, but to make her happy I will put on a happy show. I don't know why I should be happy after all she had perfect ears until then, and also it was something special to me that she did, she wasn't like other girls that way. So I wonder what else will change, yeah I know she will always be her she says, but still one day she could hate me. She says she won't and like Ana says I need to trust her so I will, even if she did go behind my back. Ana also said about how Hannah said it makes her feel special, I guess that means I don't make her feel special enough. confused Inna, Ana's friend said how about it's none of my business if she wants to look pretty. Yeah I guess it's none of my business if she is wanting to atract other boys either. Everyone yelled at me yesterday, no one even cared about how I felt. Oh well now I'm just depressed inside, but I'll hide it to make everyone happy. sad Yeah I have forgiven her but it's going to take some time. I also know it's not all of her fault, she did think it was ok. It just seems I don't get a say in anything anymore, I know she is gonna want to keep them so I will let her even if I don't want her to, besides I doubt I have a real say in that anyway. I don't know, I guess I could change my mind, but from now on I will just say what makes her happy, after all I love her. Finally I guess I should say I am getting over it, just slowly, so you can say it's growing on me. ninja
Question of the Day: What's my purpose in life besides being made fun of and making people unhappy?
Pictures of my sand castle:
Picture of the Day (Thanks to Deb):
Community Member
you stole my picture again eek VAMPIRES!!!!!!!!! whee
and you do have a purpose in life and you do make ppl happy