this was techincally for my myspace (shut up)'s blog, so the formatting is a little off, I tried to recreate it for Gaia but it wasn't working out like I would like (does the justify paragraph alignment even work..?)
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of death.
So there was this time, I walked down the street and was amazed at everything I saw. Beautiful buildings, people, places, things, ideas, and everything just everywhere and always, and gorgeous the whole way through. This never happened, but it has in my head.
I love things. I hate to say it. I really do. It is just so important to me lately, this adoration for everything in the world... I'm kind of scared of it. It is such a change from my previous mindset (quite the opposite, actually). I don't know what changed in me, because I know the world certainly didn't get better.
You might blame drugs, though. I always thought drugs gave you a bleaker outlook on life. "The only way I can feel is to get high" - that sort of outlook. For awhile, that is why I turned to drugs; an alternate mindset, a more exciting and different time, calmer mood? I think it is more than that. I think it took being in love, and being loved, then realizing that I don't need love to survive. Since I was thirteen I have been "in love" with different boys and girls along the way, I cannot recall a time when I wasn't in "love". Now, before you jump at me: I was never in the love that I thought I was. Now that I'm not "in love", life is beautiful and sweet and perfect.
I can't even begin to explain how happy I am. Events happen and I'm sad, little things tick me off, but mostly I just feel so HAPPY it is outrageous. I look at people talking, walking down the street, in the hallways, doing their thing apart from me and think, they are beautiful. I see the disgruntled employee and the angry boss and the impatient customers and everything and the picture of them there is amazing. I could go on forever... it is just SO PERFECT.
My view is probably not accepted by those who think their life on Earth is unhappy. I always feel stupid saying I love everything, because it is just so typical and accepted to not like anything, that liking everything is so contrary and unappricated. "Just a stupid girl, no real thoughts there, she is sheltered" sort of thing. .. but i don't care.
I don't know.
But life is perfect.
...except I know it can be better... (i know it can be, but getting there is harder to figure out)
and that thought just makes me so
...h a p p y.
Community Member
Life is beautiful, and pretty amazing. We take so much for granted.
I want to get a blanket and go outside and fall asleep watching the stars.
Except I'd wake up soaking wet with dew and covered with mosquito bites. sad