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Well, I found a great stress reliever, Gary and I took us all up to the mountains after I sat in the car and drew. When we got there I had the erge to take my shirt off, and just run in the mountains, so I did. After running, I threw up the food I had managed to eat earlier, so yeah, I continued running, jumping and diving around the trees, trying to relieve the anger toward myself. Then I just stopped, and looked infront of me, and just stared at the skeletal remains of a deer. After a while I started sprinting over rocks, bushes, and stopped in the middle of a tree filled area, not overly thick trees, just woodland trees. I felt really angry and let it over take me, letting out some of what I held back. I went wild on the trees, kicking them, as they swung back, catching them, or blocking. Then bringing my knee into it or what not. By the end of it, I was bleeding in a couple areas, twigs every where, and about twenty three trees laid around me as I panted, and desided no more. Then Gary walked off, just leaving me with Tim. I puked again, and feel like it now. TwT Well, I am gonna end it at that.
I lied, I have been thinking the past while, whilst getting happy, followed by the saddness, followed by the anger, then sadness, then both.
I keep thinking I know what to do, but came to one final desision, the desision to remain alone all my life, no more lovers, none of it!
I will have friends, but thats it. Its all I want any more. Now all I want besides that, I won't say, I won't say.
Ayano Murigu · Thu Sep 28, 2006 @ 05:30am · 1 Comments |
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