This is in "MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING" By Shakespeare
When Beatrice is talking to Leonato in act 2 scene 1....Its so funny!!
BEATRICE
Being "too ill-tempered" is different from being simply "ill-tempered," right? So I suppose that means I can escape God's punishment, for in the old proverb, it is said that "God gives an ill-tempered cow short horns" so that she can't inflict damage on anyone. But it doesn't say anything about a cow that is TOO ill-tempered.
LEONATO
So then, for being too argumentative, God won't send you any horns?
BEATRICE
Exactly. I pray every morning and night that the Lord won't send me a husband. Really, I couldn't stand a husband with a beard. I'd rather be wrapped in a scratchy blanket all night.
LEONATO
Maybe you will find a husband without a beard.
BEATRICE
And then what would I do with him? Dress him up in my clothes and pretend he's my lady servant? If he has a beard, he's more than a boy; if he doesn't have a beard, he's less than a man. If he's more than a boy, he's not the one for me, and if he's less than a man, I'm not the one for him. They say that women die unmarried are destined to lead the apes to hell, and I suppose that'll be my fate as well.
LEONATO
So you'll go to hell?
BEATRICE
No, just to the gates of hell, where the devil will meet me, with the horns on his head like a cuckold, and say, "Go up to heaven, Beatrice. Hell is no place for you virgins." So I'll fly up to heaven (leaving the apes behind) where I'll be met by Saint Peter guarding heaven's gates. He will show me the part of heaven where the bachelors sit, and I'll have fun there forever.
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