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Beware of the fangirl...The diary of a Gaian.
This is the diary of Dawna Celeste, just another ordinary Gaian...or is she?
Cows and knowlage.
I wasn't at all happy when I set out for Bass'ken Lake yesterday. Cindy had been gone much too long for my liking, and I was deep in an argument with myself over weather I should go to Aekea to get her. I had rejected the idea while swimming around the bottom of the pool with my gills open. I didn't even know what name she was using, so how could I find her? She'd be furious if she found me there...but I knew Aekea wasn't the safest place in Gaia, and I was afraid for her.
Feeling trapped, I decided to take advantage of having the place to myself to get rid of something that had been a growing weight on my mind. It was the gold G buckle I'd worn to that party long ago on the Isle...the one I'd been made fun of at. It had somehow been tossed in the box containing the teapot, and since I'd found it, it had been making me uneasy. Sure, it was valuble, but I knew very well that G stood for Gambino. And I wasn't a Gambino, or even a Gambino supporter! By now I had decided to throw it away...but how?
Just throwing it in the trash was out of the question. The food garbage goes into a compost pile, and Cindy takes the rest into Barton once a week for recycling. Dropping a shiny gold buckle into either was just asking for it to be found by Cindy, who would ask questions I didn't want to answer, and likely keep the thing for herself. I had a feeling that gold wouldn't flush down the toilet either, and I didn't want to risk breaking the septic tank. I could bury it of course, but then it would still be around, and I didn't like the feel of that. So I decided on the big blue garbage disposal on the other side of the woods...Bass'ken Lake!
I ate a quick peanut butter sandwich, pulled on an old brown sweater against the brisk wind that was sweeping leaves around the road, put on my cloak, and fastened my whip around me, fastening it with the gold buckle. I didn't see anything wrong with wearing it, since I'd be getting rid of it soon. It felt good to walk along the road, between the trees with their many colors of leaves, and I started to feel that my fears were just the paranoia of a lonely Aekean.
I got to the fork in the road, and was about to head for the lake...and that's when I saw them. Cows! A large brown one stood in the middle of the road. A smaller black-and-white one was trotting toward Barton. I felt a surge of panic. Yes, silly as it seems, I am afraid of cows. Those huge bodies, those hoves, those big heads with the stupid eyes, wet mouths, and teeth! In fact, the brown one was shoving her head into my chest just now. Summoning all my courage, I loudly said, "Shoo!" The cow didn't move. Timidly, I reached up and scratched her behind her ears. She seemed pleased, and with a bit less fear, I said in an even louder voice, "Go home right now! Shoo!" The cow trotted off along the road toward the port, but I was sure she'd be back.
I quickly continued toward the lake, hoping I didn't run into more cows. What was Old Man Logan thinking of to have gotten these things? He could at least have kept them out of the road!
After cutting across a field to the lake, I went out on the peir. This was the perfect place to throw the buckle in, and there wasn't anyone fishing yet. I walked out to the end, unfastened the buckle, and tried to throw it in...but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I seemed to be able to think up a million excuses for not dropping the thing into the dark blue waters of the lake: It was worth too much, it didn't really mean I had anything to do with the Gambinos, it looked so good on me, and many more. As I struggled with myself, trying to open my hand and let the buckle fall, I felt a large hand on my shoulder, and heard the words, "Heya, bub. That's a pretty nice trinket ya've got." The hand tightened its grip. "Not thinkin' of tossn' it in the lake, are ya?"
I looked over my shoulder and saw the grinning face of Old Man Logan. I'd been caught!
"Blasted cows," he said. "Woke up to one o' them mooing right outside my window. Stupid beasts... So, whatcha doin' with that thing? An' does yer aunt Cindy know yer out here on yer own?"
That was a shock to me. He knew Cindy was my aunt! "She's on a trip," I said grumpily. "I didn't know you knew her."
"Sure, sure," he said. "I'm the closest thing ya girls have to a neighbour, after all. Sometimes in the middle of winter Cindy calls me to have me tell the snowplow to go out her way. Ya eaten breakfast yet?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Well, looks like ya could do with a talk anyway. How 'bout ya come have some pancakes with me and tell me why ya were gonna throw that nice bit of gold in my lake?"
There wasn't much else I could do, and pancakes were a temptation too good to turn down. I was sitting at Old Man Logan's table, stuffing my face with delicious pancakes, when he said, "Ok, bub, fess up. What's the matter with that buckle?"
"Well..." I started, knowing I had to speak carefully. "A friend of mine gave it to me, but I don't like it."
"Mmm?" Old Man Logan raised an eyebrow. "Don't see why not, it's the color of yer hair....or what it will be when the color ya got now wears out."
"But it's Gambino!" I said loudly. "Everyone knows that G stands for Gambino! And I'm not a...not a Gambino supporter."
"An' who told ya that, I'd like to know?" Old Man Logan chuckled. "Ya know what that G really stands for?" I could only shake my head. "It stands for Gaia! Them Gambinos only took it over, and didn't mind people thinking it stood for them. But it really stands for Gaia, and all who love Gaia should be proud to wear the golden G...an' it don't matter whose gold it's made from." His face turned earnest. "An' I'll tell ya somethin'... We need more young 'uns like you to love Gaia." He looked me straight in the eye, and I stopped eating. "I know ya do, bub, an' ya should be proud to show it. I figure yer gonna have to defend 'er pretty soon, ya an' yer friends, an' not many of them are up to it, if ya ask me!"
I choked on my tea. "Defend Gaia?" I spluttered. "How? From what?"
"The aliens, o' course," he said calmly.
"The aliens?" I gasped. "How'd you know..." I stopped, cursing myself silently. I'd as good as broken the blackout with my carelessness.
"I figured yer aunt knew somethin' 'bout them," he said with a chuckle. "She told ya, eh?"
"Yeah, but don't tell anyone!" I said. "We'll all be in trouble if it gets out! Cindy said she and Mike would be arrested if they broke the news blackout..."
Old Man Logan patted me on my head. "Don' worry, bub, I wouldn't do anythin' that'd get Cindy in trouble. But I tell ya, that blackout thing's not gonna last much longer. Haven't ya seen that tramp?"
"No, which one?" I asked.
"Crazy ol' guy with a big beard an' a bag on his head," he answered. "He started in Durem, just got here a few days ago. Rantin' about aliens comin' for Halloween."
I swallowed my last bite of pancake. "How does he know that? Did he work for the Aekea Observatory?"
Old Man Logan shook his head. "Nah, he don't need ta. That guy's not just crazy, he's a Seer."
"A Seer?" I laughed. "Seers are just legend and fairy tales..."
"That they're not," he said seriously. "They're rarer now, 'cause most o' them are locked up in nuthouses, but there's a few still. Madness is part o the package...guess it's too much to see the future, ya know? But I saw a lot when I was a kid, and I can recognize one when I see 'im." He sighed. "So, I hope that blackout stays up long enough that Cindy don't get in trouble, but ya better be prepared ta look after yer planet before long."
Needless to say, I wasn't exactly happy when I said goodbye to him. This Seer was very bad news, since we would certainly be blamed for people knowing about the aliens. Still, I liked what he'd said about the G buckle. Fastening it back onto my whip, I decided to go into Barton and see if I could see this Seer. Besides, I needed to see people!
I wandered around town, but saw no sign of any tramps, and nothing of much interest at all. The leaves were falling from a lot of the trees, and the wind was getting cold...I was about to head home when, sitting on the steps of the GAIA 9 station, I heard a familier voice. Cindy's!
"Please, Leon," she was saying, "I just got back from Aekea... I want to go home and have a rest..."
"And have a job when you get back?" Leon gloatingly replied.
My hackles rising, I got up and saw them standing just below the steps. Not for long though... Leon took Cindy's arm and led her off toward the train station.
My impulse was to confront him and demand to know what he was playing at, but I knew I was more likely to find out if I didn't. Trying not to be seen, I followed them. No worries...neither of them looked backwards once. They went past the station, to the hotel in the windmill...the hotel Angel had stayed at.They stopped by the bridge, and I quickly scrambled down the canal bank. Crouching under the bridge, I could hear Leon say, "Go on, Cindy dear, you get the room."
"Leon..." Cindy said plaintivly.
"Go on," Leon said, and I could hear the threat in his voice.
I knew what was going to happen, but I couldn't face it. It had to be something else... The song Cindy hated so much played mockingly in my head as she walked into the hotel. I wanted to run, but I couldn't with Leon on the bridge. After a while, he went in too, but instead of running, I climbed back up the bank and followed him. Standing in the doorway, I could hear the man at the reception saying "Of course, sir, she said you would come" and something that sounded like the clink of gold on armour.
I went back to my seat under the bridge, and sat there for a long time, trying not to think of what was happening in the hotel, trying not to think of the song, trying not to think of the Sniper drawing a bead on Leon, and trying not to think of myself cheering him on. My hand brushed the buckle, but instead of thinking of defending Gaia, I was thinking of getting back at Leon...but how?
Finally, I heard the clank of Leon's armour as he left. He was whistling. A few minutes later Cindy left too. She was walking very fast, and wore too much makeup and a tearful look.
Miserable, I walked along the canal bank...and was roughly disturbed by someone grabbing at my cloak. I looked down to see a blond boy in a black coat sitting in a boat, grinning at me. "Care to go for a ride with me?" he asked.
Who knows, in other times I might have accepted. But I was in no mood for that now, and snapped "Let go!" When he didn't, I kicked out at him...overbalanced...fell full-lenth across the boat...and capsized it.
Swimming across the muddy canal bottom, I made a face as my gills opened to the dirty water. Remembering that the boy wouldn't be able to breath at all, I grabbed the collar of his coat and pulled him out from under the boat...and was dragged to the surface by my own cloak.
"What the heck do ya think yer doin'?" Old Man Logan snarled, dumping us on the canal bank. "Good thing I came in to complain about those blasted cows... Ya could have drowned!"
The boy was sitting up and spluttering. "Why'd you do that?" he wailed. "You nearly drowned me!"
"You shouldn't have grabbed my cloak!" I snapped. "It was your fault!"
"Humph," Old Man Logan snorted. "Well, you get home." He led me towards the GAIA 9 station. "It's a good thing yer aunt's back, bub..."
We were walking up the steps when Cindy walked out of the building, talking, much too fast, to Mike. "Come on, Cindy," he said, "let Dawna make her own dinner. We can eat out together here..."
That set me off into loud, hysterical sobbing. Cindy and Mike rushed down the steps, and together with Old Man Logan, tried to comfort me and find out what was wrong. All I could do was sob and shiver, and the only thing they got out of me, despite hot chocolate in Cindy's warm office, Cindy's "What were you doing here?" and Old Man Logan's "I'll get that boy for bothering ya!" was that I had come here because I was bored, been hassled by the boy, and fallen in the canal by accident and that I was crying because I was dripping wet and freezing. I knew I couldn't tell about Cindy and Leon, at least untill I was alone with Cindy.
But I didn't even then. I fell asleep on the ride back, and now I have a sore throat. Cindy's off at work, and I never had the courage to confront her about Leon. I don't think I ever will... Old Man Logan said I would have to defend Gaia. But how can I when I don't even have the courage to try to help Cindy? All I can do is drink lemon tea, write, and think...





 
 
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