Letting my mind wander is one of the most lethal things I can do to myself. Its funny how I can make believe things to be so real that when I open my eyes no one is there. Its a disheartening feeling. I don't know why I put so much h stock in finding someone that cares when the demographics purely say that I'll find someone better in a leper colony. Its just that stupid inbred urge to have someone care and to care for someone. This only happens when I've had a lot of time to myself. =/ Another reason why I love my friends to pieces, they keep me from thinking about things that make me sad.
Being alone has caused me to pass out and sleep for five hours. I've been so tired lately that my body just gave out no matter how hard to tried to stay awake. My job is killing me slowly, and school isn't helping. Tomorrow is my final day of rest until I go back to work. Next semester I have to tell my boss that I can only work 6 hour shifts during the week, my body doesn't enjoy the overwork.
Ohyeah. I'm going to USC to talk to a TMJ specialist soon. Lovely. I also have to get in contact with my insurance company, my lawyer, and other specialists to get an idea of if I'm covered, if I can sue, and if I can get treated. There's always going to the ER and getting my jaw reset. The longer it stays locked, the more stress on the bones so its something I've got to do soon. Not looking forward to being put under, but if it can help I'll do it. If its not one thing, its surely another. I wonder what life would be like if I had no medical calamities. I'm tired of being a burden to my family, but I've got no one else to go to - I can't afford any treatment options on my own. I'm greatful that my parents still love me enough to want to help me.
I really need to stop posting.
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Stupid-no-Jutsu : The art of being stupid.
Finally released in a totally unabridged format.
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