I miss him. That's all..but he doesn't care. I know that. he made that very apparent to me when he couldn't spare two minutes of his time. But I still love him, I shouldn't..but I do..everyone knows that. I hate that no one can see..that I just want to be back with him, the one I love and be happy. he's still the kid I met back then..I remember all the love he showed me, and I wonder now if it was my fault. If I drove him away..with the things I did. He was one of the few things that kept me going. I hate that I still love him and care about him when he could care less about me, I don't deserve this treatment..but he's worth it..whether I get him back or not. I miss seeing him..I miss talking to him..I miss being with him..but none of that matters to him. u.u He might feel plagued by me..but I wonder if he realizes what this has done to me. Its stripped me of almost everything, he's my special person and I wish he'd realize that.
Added January 11, 2007//
The voice is real for me to hear
But I cannot say that I'm ok
So I'm laying down in front of you
To work this through
I needed someone just like you
I needed you
I needed someone just like you
I needed you to stay
So I'll stand by and watch you slide
But I cant hide the pain inside
So I'll lay down
One more time to say I tried
Then I tried then you leave
When I needed someone to stay
You were my friend
Cause I need you
And I wanted you to stay
I needed someone just like you
I needed you
I needed someone just like you
I needed you to stay
Someone Like You by Trust Company
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Im no hero, you remember how i was, you know
All i ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
Im spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday`s life
Please remember this isn`t how i hoped it would be
But i had to protect you from me
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time i was around i just bring you down
And i could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
And i know the way i left wasnt fair
I didnt want to be around just to bring you down
Im not a hero but dont think i didnt care
You are a hero, I remember how you were, and
I know all you ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where I thought I was going insane
But still with you everything was the same
That’s where I came in
And you tried to explain to me why
You had to separate yourself from the rest of our lives
I remember this isn’t how you hoped it would be
But I want you to know you didn’t have to protect me
Then you slipped out the back, but I knew you were there
I really did feel unprepared
But I want you to know you didn’t bring me down when you were around
I know you felt it was time to feel scared
But I’m here and quite well aware
That you should come back to the way that we were
But you slipped out the back, and I knew you were there
Yes the way that you left wasn’t fair
You never brought me down while you were around
You are a hero and I know that you cared
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I know you want him back dear...but there really isn't anything you can do right now...