my goal in life..is to make many friends, be as optimist as i can and to never hate. my best friend called me pesimist...ouch..my best friend just kicked my goal in life...hmmm...so kira said i hate everything..which is basically calling me pesimist...she called me pesismist which is like saying....yah ouch...she's called me it four times by now and doesnt remember any other times..which really bothers me cause if she doesnt even remember it...then that means it doesnt matter so much to her...judging by the way she was talking later..she thinks i'm overreacting but she is SORTAsorry...<____< hmm...maybe i am...who knows...am i? for some reason i feel guilty and i feel like i should be saying sorry...i will end up saying so later and explaining my self ..but it really bothers me cause the first time she said that to me and i got upset...she hasnt really changed...but it also makes me think that she is in a small way pesimist herself...because she only remembers the times i say "dont you hate it when.." or " aug...i hate it when that happens"...i sorta pity her.....*thinks..* confused...disturbed...i dont mean to even say hate....i try never to hate anything or anyone...what should i do...for some reason..i feel embarassed that i'm even confused..i dont exactly know what i'm confused about...hisaki-chan says "I would wait then ask her why she feels that way or maybe say sorry then..." i dont think i'll get anywhere fast by asking her why she thinks that...i've heard her answer four times..but that does strike up the option of asking what i can do in return although i also know the answer to that too but it might make her feel better...hmmm@______@..got to resolve this..
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