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The other day one of my friends was talking about how great her life would be if it was made into a book.

"It'd be like, whoa," she envisioned, "And people would be like, that is one beautiful story."

When I heard her talking about her own book (and making it sound like a wonderfully written masterpiece) I thought to myself, "I should write a book about my own life."

It would have to be titled 'Loo,' because my life probably wouldn't be a very good book. It would be about as fun to read as going to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom isn't very fun; at least, it isn't very fun from my perspective. However, I'm going to write it anyway, because if I don't, my head will most likely explode off of my body like a rocket, and then my eyeballs will pop out and earwax will drip in streams from my ears.

So, here's what happened in school today:

I was eaten by lizards. And then, someone listened to me and I sounded like a slug because I hate braces and my tongue is a slug. No joke, it's really true.

So, I was trying to develop some amazing literary talent, so I said some fancy words. I insulted this one guy and he didn't understand what I meant, but I was really trying to impress this one other guy. And I started thinking, "What would life be like if it was perfect, and there really were no huge epidemics of disease or overpopulation problems or problems with the homeless and starving, and there was no such thing as pollution?"

And then I thought, "It'd probably be the same anyway, because people would find something else to complain about." just like rich people being just as happy, in general, as poor people, and all that. We wouldn't all die so gruesomely, but everyone dies anyway, and we'll all die eventually. The human species will be finally conquered by all these problems, and we will all die. But there will be new life, and life will never stop. It will be good. It is good.

That's part of my philosophy. But, I'm an ambitious b***h.



(maybe if I say it long enough, I'll start to believe it.)