Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Today in 4th period really...really sucked.

My friend John, was like, really depressed and wanted to..kill... people and some other stuff. It's one of those "You have to be there to know what I'm talking about" moments. I was so scared. My hands were shaking the entire period and I almost cried 4 times. My other friend, Sunday, just put his hand on the desk kind of next to him and John snapped and almost stabbed him. He wasn't kidding. He could have killed someone if he hadn't controlled himself. I was really scared. Not even kidding. So then after that class, I couldn't even do my work anymore. All I could think about was if he was ok or not. And then after that class, I was walking to my 6th period, and he stopped me in the hall and said "What's wrong?", I said... "You scared me. Alot." And he hugged me and I hugged him back, I felt like crying again. He said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm really... really sorry." And we just stayed hugging for a few seconds then I said "Please... don't ever do that again, at least not in front of me. Please." And he said "I won't. I'm sorry." We hugged again and then left. My heart was beating so fast, I couldn't stop shaking.

And yes, I do like John as more than a friend, if you know what I mean. I have his name on my shoes. And my other friend told me to show him my shoe. [Because he was really not..ok, so he thouhgt maybe it might make him feel better or something.] So I showed John my side that says "I <3 JP." and he smiled but he just still wasn't alright. [Mind you, this was in 4th period as well, in the beginning of the class.] He already knows I like him... alot. I've told him about 5 times to his face, and many of my friends have told him. I guess. I don't know, I just wanted to tell him "You know I like you and care about you alot. I'll always be here for you and I'll try my best to help you. If you EVER need someone, please talk to me. You know my number." But I haven't, and most likely won't.

REALLY SORRY THIS WAS KINDA LONG.

I'll be suprised if anyone leaves comments. sweatdrop