Last night I took sometime to myself. I sat on my stump for nearly three days straight and wondered what my life might be like if I hadn't told Jacques about my family. Then I realized he would have found out anyway when he aged, and myself and my children hardly aged. It's a weird thought, Jacques, a human, and having children with him would have made them half vampire. I cried for the first time in over two hundred years the other day. I fear that while I am away, Jacques falls further and further toward Winnie. They really were close before I came in. I wonder if it was good for me to have met him. But I guess all things happen for reasons. What puzzles me is I am not part of Kami's will. What he plans never has anything to do with me since I am cruznik. There's an empty place inside me though. It longs to belong. I hope I can again...I hope this emptiness gets replaced soon...
.x.Audri.x. · Fri Dec 15, 2006 @ 07:47am · 0 Comments |