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Let me tell you a Christmas story:

once santa was riding in his pimped out sleigh listening to Kanye West or someone. then as he was banging his head, with his girls on each side(there were 3 of them) he landed on a rooftop. He then went inside and saw there were cookies and milk. Now, Santa hated cookies and milk so he stomped up to the kid's bedroom and shook the 9 year old screaming,"I WANT WINE AND CHEESE! NOT COOKIES AND MILK! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A CARTOON CHARACTER!!!" he then stomped back to his sleigh and kept doing what he did best. The next year, and the year after that the child always set out wine and cheese, and every year his parents would ask, "why are you putting that stuff out? santa likes milk and cookies!" and every year the child would reply, "Why you asking those questions fool? he just does."

that is my wacky christmas story. Better than that one poem, cuz this story is true.